I have to point out how delighted I am at Ricky Gervais’ “Golden Globes” monologue. It was funny, yes, but the funniest thing about it was Hollywood's outraged reaction. Which amused the pants off of me because really, who doesn’t like to see privileged people who constantly award and celebrate themselves, roasted like pigs on a spit?
The more uncomfortable and rude it got, the funnier I found it. Let’s be brutally honest here, if you hire Ricky Gervais to present a red carpet awards show, surely you are not expecting tame, old school jokes, lots of ass kissing and a musical number? I mean have you SEEN Ricky Gervais live? Just go get Billy Crystal if you want that shit.
Besides, I though he was relatively tame as comedy goes. I think he toned it down a bit. Plus Alec Baldwin looked like he was about to pee himself he laughed so hard. If Alec’s not pissed or calling someone a “rude little pig” it must be ok, no?
Hell, if you really want Hollywood to just spontaneously combust in a smoky fog of indignity, get the South Park guys to host next time. You’ll be begging Ricky to come back on stage in no time.
at one point, the camera was on angelina jolie as she did not seem amused and instead of feigning interest she decides to apply lipgloss. dumb.
ReplyDeletei hate rich people with no sense of humor.
I think if you're rich and in the public eye, you need to get used to being the butt of jokes. It comes with the territory. It's not like he was serious about things. They're JOKES! :)
ReplyDeleteMost overrated actor = Scarlett Johansson. She's not that good.
ReplyDeleteMost pompous director with delusions of grandeur = maybe Michael Bay?
Biggest waste of $100 million while people are starving = Nick Cage. That guy is seriously the worst.
Most entitled = hands-down Gwyneth Paltrow.
Most surgically enhanced parts = Mickey Rourke? LOL.
Most up his own ass = I agree with you, Tom Cruise.
You know, it's uncanny how you and I would agree on those! Holy crap, well done. I might replace Scarlet with Zooey Deschanel though. Girl is beautiful but seriously, should leave acting to people who can emote.
ReplyDeleteWhile we're at it, let's just cut out all those lifetime achievement type awards. Blah.
ReplyDeleteYeah they're sort of a booby prize really. It's like, "You've been in our faces way too many years, take this and maybe go away!"
ReplyDeleteDidn't see it but i've heard all the outrage. I agree with you VA - if you put Ricky on the stage, you have to take what you get. Not that i like Ricky either - i would put him in the 'up his own arse' catagory
ReplyDeleteGrump over!
I think he does come across that way on TV but when you see him in interviews and stuff he's really self-deprecating and sort of embarrassed. I just like that he shook things up in a town that isn't known for a sense of humour. :)
ReplyDeleteI'd like to see Russell Brand present a big award show - not that woyld be classic! I can imagine the uproar! Perhaps i should start a patition 'Russell Brand for the Oscars'!!
ReplyDeleteYou are too funny!
ReplyDeleteOh my God, YES. He'd be hilarious. He's smart and wouldn't hesitate to say what was on his mind. I think they'd be terrified of him though. He's like the anti christ. :)
ReplyDeleteEva: I'm probably blacklisted from Hollywood now. Too bad. I was really looking forward to being famous. :)
ReplyDeleteCan i just say... my typing is WAY bad tonight! Russell Brand is my guilty pleasure! Not in a rude way (that's Jensaon Ackles from Supernatural), he just seems like the naughty boy you really shouldn't like, but can't help yourself. Plus he has an amazing smile! He's been a bit tame since he met Katy Perry (blurgh).
ReplyDeleteHA, for now! Bless him. He's gone through all the girls in the UK and decided to get married and have a rest. :)
ReplyDeletePerhaps it was out of necessity. Perhaps his doctors told him he'd given his todger so much action that it was in danger of imploding if he didn't give it a rest.
ReplyDeleteThere are some things that you should be able to rely on in the universe and Russell Brand in the news headlines including the words ‘naked’, ‘drunk’ and ‘nubile young women’ is one of them.
It's true. When The Sun aren't posting pun like headlines about him, he's obviously a bit off-colour. :) I'm sure he'll be back though. I mean every culture needs a pirate like lethario with eyeliner and tight leather pants, no?
ReplyDeleteToo true VA, you are a wise one!
ReplyDeleteMore people need to realize this, Miss Tee.
ReplyDeleteHe was pretty merciless last year, too, launching with a comment about the amount of plastic surgery he could see. I thought it was HILARIOUS, and all the funnier for being so fearless. How could anyone claim to be shocked or horrified or outraged by his failure to lick boot or booty, if they've seen him perform live? (OMG the think about the work he does for charity and how hopeless the sick kids are...). They must have HIRED him for his squirm-inducing humour, mustn't they? (Hey, Hollywood; he's English; he doesn't give a toss about you or your peeps, because he's busy enough already, and doesn't need you.)
ReplyDeleteOkay, VA, I want to talk about your post, but now Nicole has distracted me with Nicholas Cage. Seriously, what is going on with every movie he's done in the last 5 years being all witchcrafty? Isaac thinks he's actually become a male witch, but that seems unlikely to me. I've never read about that in the midlife crisis manual. I think it might be a Hollywood punishment thing. Like, they've said, "Look, man. Until you can start talking out of your mouth instead of that teeny hole in your neck, we're not going to be able to put you in anything that's filmed during the day."
ReplyDeleteThoughts?
Exactly! I was having a laughing party at all those people going on about how he'll "never work in this town again" and I thought "I hardly think he cares much if he works in Hollywood again, the dude doesn't need it!" :)
ReplyDeleteAlso, I think Russell is hilarious too. You should totally give me his book for Christmas next year.
ReplyDeleteNo, no, no, Muffin. You got it wrong. You should have ended the question at " what is going on with every movie he's done in the last 5 years". No need to continue. Witchcraft or no, the man's career has gone down faster than Paris Hilton in a room full of buff greek shipping heirs. Plus who takes him seriously nowadays? You see his name and you think "Wow. I wonder how much THIS one will suck!"
ReplyDelete...don't you mean his Booky Wook?
ReplyDelete"gone down faster than Paris Hilton in a room full of buff greek shipping heirs"?? There is something seriously wrong with you. But you're right, so I'll give you extra points for wisdom.
ReplyDelete....you said that like it's a BAD thing!
ReplyDeleteI thought his "hollywood bashing" was the highlight of the show. If you can call that a show! Nothing but a bunch of celebs jerking each other off for three hours...
ReplyDeletesorry....
Oh don't be sorry, Pat. I agree! So did Ricky by all counts. If you can't laugh at yourself, you might need a reality check, Hollywood. :)
ReplyDeleteAmen. Amen. Amen. I especially loved Rober Downey Jr. saying it was "mean spirited." Yeah, well so was making me sit through "Sherlock Holmes."
ReplyDeleteBahaha! Touche!
ReplyDeleteHe was bound to say that since he got picked on. But really if you are known for years and years of substance abuse, you can't really be THAT surprised. I like Robert Downey but honestly.
It's not like Ricky hadn't already hosted the show previously. Of course the network knew what they were getting themselves into yet now they want to go throw a wee tizzy because Ricky acted just like everyone pretty much expected. Rubbish!
ReplyDeleteAnd I concur that Tom Cruise is a twat-head douche canoe. BARF!!!
http://rantersbox.blogspot.com/
Yes MA'AM, Empress! Douche Canoe extraordinaire!
ReplyDeleteAnd of course they knew what they were getting, as you said, he hosted before and they complained then too I seem to remember. Yet still brought him back. I guess all that publicity is hard to turn your back on, eh? You don't hire a guy like Ricky to be nice to everyone you hire him to be outrageous at people's expense!
Ricky Gervais was so funny it was painful.
ReplyDeleteOutside of the "Hollywood Distortion Field" wherein live celebrities and their fawning pundits, the reaction from the real world seems to have been overwhelmingly positive... Ricky Gervais said it like it is. It's hard to feel "sorry" for people who are paid an obscene amount of money and are cosseted and mollycoddled by their minions around them.
Highlight of the evening had to be seeing Angelina Jolie's pouting, sourpuss face.
I find it hard to believe that the organisers didn't know what they were in for--it's not like Ricky Gervais' style is a secret. And anyway, as you point out--he definitely toned it down for the show.
I bet Mel Gibson has left him thirty seven messages threatening to knock his teeth out and calling him a f*cking sl*tty c*nt.
ReplyDeleteThe whole thing was awesome but the Mel Gibson crack was the joke of the night - seriously, Ricky even cracked himself up with that one.
Tom Cruise + Mel Gibson + VinceVaughan = Douche Canoe trifecta
Sarah xxx
Ricky Gervais is my new hero.
ReplyDeleteMove over, Salman Rushdie!
I didn't even watch the awards I figured I would amuse myself by reading peoples' takes on them later :)
ReplyDeleteOMG totally! I didn't watch the Golden Globes but I saw clips of Ricky Gervais and the outraged audience. I think there is nothing better than authenticity! Poor Robert Downey Junior and feeling like the night was so mean spirited....cry me a river!
ReplyDeleteGreat post Madame the Vegetable Assassin! A homerun as usual!
i luuuuuurve ricky gervais. he's the dreamiest.
ReplyDeleteRichard: Of course they knew. He hosted last year and offended everyone. Yet they asked him back. Plus the organizers know the public take great pleasure in seeing celebrities squirm. :)
ReplyDeleteSarah: Haha, Mel probably imploded and drank every wetbar in Los Angeles! As for your douche canoe trifecta - YES! Holy crap scary trio or what?
Moooooog: Hahaha, you only worship people with fatwas on them! YOU are my hero.
Kimber: Yeah that's much more fun. That cuts out the bullshit and cuts to the chase. :)
Sandra: Thank you miss! There's nothing better than a confused audience who're used to fawning and praise. It's priceless. I feel some of them totally got it and liked it. But most of them? Not so much.
MLB: Hahahaha, dude. You're the silliest!
As someone who has been a vegetarian her whole life, it just made common sense for me to be following you! And I'm so glad I happened here thanks to The Empress. I laughed out loud. I agree. If they didn't want Ricky Gervais to be Ricky Gervais then they should've hired someone else! Sheesh.
ReplyDeleteHello miss Cinderita! I have been veggie most of my life too although I confess nowadays I do eat bacon occasionally if the urge takes. Maybe once a month or even less than that. I'm ashamed. :) But yeah, hire Ricky you hire some outspoken shenanigans. Deal with it Hollywood.
ReplyDeleteWhen THAT show is announced I really wanna be the host. I'm British, fat, (could grow a beard if I really wanted) and am very good at pointing the finger at people who live in their ass. Please sign me up Veg.
ReplyDeleteVeg!!!!!! Thank you for your mention of the Golden Globes and how Ricky Gervais made all those pompous bony assholes squirm in their seats. Him calling Bruce Willis Ashton Kutcher's dad FTW. Wth was up with The Social Network winning everything?
ReplyDeleteI had the choice of pulling my toenails out, or watching the Golden Globes. I did my pedi instead.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm surprised that Hollywood is surprised that Ricky Gervaise let rip.
When you start doing an award show Veggie, I'll done a sparkly gown and come cheer. Definitely more my speed.
So, so right. Gervais was brilliant. I would marry him and let him to make fun of me everyday.
ReplyDeleteAlso, another new category could be "Least Number of Ribs Left After Torso Shrinking Procedure to Be a Size -6."
That whole broadcast made me want to hump Ricky. Oh and Robert Downey, Jr. To be fair, I wanted to hump him before the broadcast but now I EXTRA want to hump him. In the face.
ReplyDeleteShut up! I think that about Zooey Deschanel too! And don't even get me started on She & Him. Her singing voice is HORRIFIC. I don't understand how people like her music. She sounds terrible. Are they not hearing that awful noise coming out of her mouth?
ReplyDeleteI think she wears cute dresses and she's adorable and has bangs, and maybe that's enough for some people? That's the only explanation I have for her success.
I only caught bits and pieces of the GGs, but what Is aw was pretty funny. I don't know why everyone got their knickers in a twist over it. Maybe they should get Russell Peters to host next year! LOL! (I'm not sure how well known he is down south, but I am sure he could get more than a few G-strings in a wad.) - G
ReplyDeleteI absolutely agree with everything you said! I loved Ricky and I think your new categories are spot-on.
ReplyDeleteSD&BS: Hell I'd watch YOUR show, you self-deprecating devil. Plus you'd tell them how it is in no uncertain times and probably have sex with them all as you did it.
ReplyDeleteJ: Yeah what is up with that? Oddly enough that movie sounded like it would be such a ridiculous thing yet everyone loved it. Amazing!
Roses: Thank you miss, as soon as I get my hosting invite I'll let you and your sparkly dress know. Don't go holding your breath though now...
Martini: Yes! Or just "Smallest sized actress" where people in negative numbers can boast about how they haven't eaten in three months and are now concave. Awesome! :)
Elly: I hear Robert's now hired someone to guard his face at the fear of that prospect. His loss, man.
Nicole: YES! Seriously. I have the She & Him CDs and I like them, truly, but I have ALWAYS said it - she cannot sing. I even saw her live with Elvis Costello on his show on TV and she sounded dreadful.
Georgina: You know, I've never seen Russell Peters. I know who he is but other than that....now I'm having to go check him out so I know what you're talking about. :)
Skypop: Thank you Senor! Our new categories would be good because they make sense and really everyone wants to know who'd win those. Maybe we should all host our own?
my sentiments exactly - only better put by you. it was refreshing to see ricky bring it hard to the pompous assess who take themselves waaaay to seriously. and yeah, don't hire a comedian if it's a suck-up you really want.
ReplyDeleteDAMN STRAIGHT! There are plenty people in Hollywood who will suck up at the drop of a hat. Yet they got a British comedian known for edgy humour. DUH! :)
ReplyDeleteOh please. He just had the balls to say out loud what everyone else is thinking. And he can (mostly) get away with it because of the British accent. That always makes the trashiest, rudest of comments sound civilized. (Or, civilised as you might say!)
ReplyDeleteI've seen every Tom Cruise movie in the theater since 1998.
ReplyDeleteI will not defend myself.
Robin: You think? I think only Americans probably feel that way. We're quite common really you know. :)
ReplyDeleteRahul: And neither you should. Because there IS no defense. You need to be taught the error of your ways by being made to watch that Tom Cruise on the couch thing 3,000 times in a row. Then you will defend yourself. OH YES. :)
I totally missed the GG's...dammit!
ReplyDeleteI'm going to youtube it tonight after work.
All I can say is this - I can't wait to see Angelina's pouty face - because her movie 'Salt' sucked ass so she has it coming.
AND...if Robert Downy Jr. can't take a little heat then he has no business being Iron Man anymore.
There. Bitching over.
=]
Well said, oh Cheeky one. Iron PUSSY Man more like! :)
ReplyDeleteYou know what Veg.?? That was fricken brilliant.
ReplyDeleteYou might be drunk there missy. But it's ok. I like drunk.
ReplyDeleteI didn't watch it, but I heard all about how celebs everywhere are butt hurt. If people aren't licking their cracks, they don't know how to react. "WHAT? SOMEONE DOESN'T THINK I MAKE LIFE WORTH LIVING??" Boo fucking hoo.
ReplyDeleteYes, they're very upset. And probably even more upset that so many people are condoning the naughty Englishman. Poor babies.
ReplyDeleteCRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!
ReplyDeleteI forgot about the Golden Globes! I wanted to see Ricky too! DAMMIT!!!!
I'm heading right to youtube.
*sniffle*
HE was the BEST part of the show.
ReplyDeleteThat's the only reason I even watched it.
Good post.
Cora: Shouldn't be hard, man, it's all over the Interwebz. Go witness the madness that is the Celebrity Crying Inducer.
ReplyDeleteEd: That is true. Although how squirmy did you feel at the audience reaction? I almost wanted to go hide. :)
The mere notion that a farce like the Golden Globes can be embarrassed is hilarious. To be fair, there is an element here of insulting your hosts, which isn't very cool. But that shit was FUNNY. And also, this was his second year hosting. Did they really not know what they were going to get?
ReplyDeleteExactly dude. And last year they were "outraged" too. Yet there he was again. Hmmmmm. Suspicious much? :) Oh, and HI! LONG TIME NO SEE!
ReplyDelete