Oh Here Comes The Whine

Wednesday, November 27th 2013 - I am sick, goddamnit!

Seriously guys.  I haven't been sick in a good couple of years now and suddenly I'm hit with this pestilence that would fell a buffalo, clear out of the blue. I hate being sick. I'm like a man when I'm sick.  You all know what that means. I have no energy, I can't sleep worth a damn because I lie down and cough up a lung and I think I may be in some parallel universe.  On the positive, I have been watching a shit ton of old X-Files episodes on Netflix instead of sleeping so that's been fun.

It started with a dry, rough throat, which progressed to a sore, dry throat and then moved south in victory, right into my chest, where it now lives in an ocean of phlegm and bronchal patheticness.  Every body retching cough makes me wince and I feel like Mike Tyson did some practice on my midsection.  I walk like I'm ninety and I work up to every cough like it's a goddamn contraction.  When did coughing get so painful?

Anyway, I've barely eaten anything in about five days but managed to drink enough orange juice during that time to fill the Pacific.  Funny thing is I never drink fruit juice unless I'm sick then I crave it like babies' blood.  I'm kidding about the blood.  I just want orange juice, it's addictive like meth. I had some Campbell's tomato soup too.  I mean who can survive illness without THAT?  An alien, that's who.

So I need entertaining/sympathy/jokes/insults etc., etc. Please see to it.

I'm off now to see what you guys are up to and it better be good.

I Wish I Was Better At Titles

Thursday, November 21st 2013 - Eff Me, It's Cold

I don't know why winter takes me by surprise, seeing as how it happens every year without fail and it usually announces itself by turning leaves orange and yanking them off the trees a few weeks earlier, yet somehow, I always wind up hosting an expression of utter confusion as if something untoward has occurred without asking my permission.

I saw "Gravity" for the second time last night (because who can see that movie once and not sit slack jawed with awe at the effects and not want to see it again?) and shot out of the warm bosom of the movie theatre and right into the cold, heartless crossfire of the first mini-blizzard of winter and a car that could make ice faster than any freezer.  The flurries of light snow swirled right down my parka hood and into my cold, dark SOUL.  I uttered some bad, bad words.

In other things that slightly surprised me this week, I went to A&W before the movie last night, for some fast food, which I hardly ever do because not being a meat eater the choices are slim in such places and if they do have a veggie burger of some sort it's usually pretty much like a piece of cardboard covered in a tomato and angst. However, A&W have a pretty kick ass veggie burger I discovered and it has onion rings and sliced dill pickle and tomato and well....yeah!!! I approved. Tasty! How did I not know of this?  I thought I knew everything.

How's everyone today?  Stoked for the weekend?  I hope so.