People, what’s up with everyone having to “like” every damn thing? Has the whole world turned into Facebook now? Are we going to have to click “like” buttons in the supermarket when they have an especially abundant crop of tomatoes? Are we going to start actually growing crops and inviting people we hardly know to water them? Will real life “poking” of strangers ever be legal?
I don’t WANT to “like” everything. I DON’T like everything. And even if I loved the shit out of everything, I don’t really care if the rest of the world knows I like it or not. Because, I know they don’t ultimately CARE. Plus I don’t give a giant donkey scrotum if YOU “like” something or not, all I want to know from anything is, will it entertain me, bring me cake on demand or fuel my flagging ego with flattery.
For the record, I don’t click “like” ever. I object to even having the option to register my indifferent opinion. Which isn’t even an opinion anyway, it’s a generic statement. It just means “I read this thing you posted and somewhat concur with your opinion but in the grand scheme of things I don’t really care and have already moved on and this is merely a reflex reaction as the button was there and I am a sheep.” If I like your article/post etc., I'll leave you a comment not click some button.
Really I just don't like being told what to do.
Where’s my “This Sucked Balls” button? Or maybe a “You are clearly bonkers” button? I’d settle for a good, hearty, “Fuck off” or "who gives a rat's ass?" option. On the positive side, there could be a big, blingy "You are a genius and deserve cake" button for those very extreme occasions you just can't help yourself and have to declare your admiration.
I think that’s it. Please continue and I’ll take my bad ass mood someplace else.
In honour of this post, I have just amended my blog so that users can now click three options after reading one of my posts. You can now let me know if a post "sucked balls."
ReplyDeleteI encourage you and your readers to stop by and either "like" me or "ask me to put testicles in my mouth."
We live in a democracy do we not?
You're welcome.
Good boy. And like a good little sheep I'm going there now to see if you did indeed just do that, which begs the question, "how?" and "I WANT TO DO IT TOO".
ReplyDeleteI would pay good money for Facebook to have a button that says "“I read this thing you posted and somewhat concur with your opinion but in the grand scheme of things I don’t really care and have already moved on and this is merely a reflex reaction as the button was there and I am a sheep.”
ReplyDeleteYou should be in charge over there.
If I was in charge over there I'd shut it down and watch the world panic. :)
ReplyDeleteHey Veg Ass...think we're having the same kind of day....
ReplyDeleteI've never clicked a 'like' button but today, had I come across one, I would most likely have smashed it with the bottom of my wine bottle while yelling 'Fuck off you desperate loser'
...and just out of interest...are donkey's giant scrotums bigger than my husband's - it's just I thought his were fairly giant albeit a little green...and wrinkled...
Hmmmm. Well, Lottie me dear, having never seen your husband's scrotum I can't really judge (please don't send me photos though, ok?) but I wager he'd have to be a pretty "special" guy to outdo a donkey. I don't generally go round checking out donkey's scrotums (scroti?) either, but I'm pretty sure they must be outstandingly large. :)
ReplyDeletePhotos are available on my latest post but please view with extreme caution and only if you have a very strong stomach....
ReplyDeleteAlready did. And I winced. And I commented. And you scare me. In a good way.
ReplyDeleteps. do you think donkey's bollocks are bigger than a rhinos - saw a couple up close and they are fucking huge!
ReplyDeleteBloody hell...you're fast...you're like the bionic woman on speed...
ReplyDeleteYes I am. I'm fast and I'm stealth. Plus my email's always open while I'm working so, HA!
ReplyDeleteAs for the scrotum thing, I don't know dude. Maybe. Rhinos are pretty huge though in general. Maybe we should line up a donkey, a rhino and your husband and get out a ruler?
Hey I really like your post. I mean I dislike it enough to really like it
ReplyDeleteThat just blew my mind, dude. We now need an extra button for, "Disliked your post so much I liked it!" :)
ReplyDeleteI'm the same. I have always been against the "like" button. I've never used it before.
ReplyDeleteI'm all for the "this is a piece of crap" button option, though,
Or a "you are talking out of your ass" button. I'm sure I'd get lots of clicks on those over here. :)
ReplyDeletedid you ever see "The Liker" video i posted on my blog a couple weeks ago? it's good for a chuckle bc it's true and most people are dumb assholes.
ReplyDeleteif you think it's funny, you can like that blog entry. or you can like my group on fb. i'm not picky, really.
I clearly missed that one, but I'm going to go check it out ASAP now. :) I'll just 'like' everything. It's the current way.
ReplyDeletei dont facebook...but i have seen these "like" buttons....
ReplyDeleteI think the peeps in charge of the world want us to love everyone, all the while they are plotting our demise
bwaaaahahahahahahahahahah
They are everywhere. I'm not a Facebooker either - I don't see the point, but you can't avoid their presence.
ReplyDeleteI like you.
ReplyDeleteWell so long as you don't "LIKE" me. :)
ReplyDeleteIs it Sunday? I'm asking because I feel as though I'm back in London listening to you on a little box at Speaker's Corner.
ReplyDeleteI have to admit, I've never really given much thought to the "like" button on FB, and am more curious as to why it set you off.
I don't know. I was just thinking about it today and how people will "like" anything because it's easy. Easier than a comment saying why you like it. I don't know. I just hate Facebook and anything Facebook related and well. That's enough surely?
ReplyDeleteLet's just hope that it doesn't spread outside of Facebook. I "like" things, but only things I believe are awesome, not the regular whateverpeoplemakecommentsabout.
ReplyDeleteYeah that's what i was trying to say. Save "like" for stuff you REALLY like. Or boycott it. :)
ReplyDeleteLet's see... because anyone gives a crap, my review of
ReplyDeleteCoffee
like
Art
like
Tolstoy's 'Death of Ivan Ilyich'
it's aiight
Facebook
#$*# no!
Peaches
mmm
There you go. The important things. LIKE! :)
ReplyDeleteAw man! But can I still tell you how much I like this post! Because I really really do! I'm so with you on this. But more than just the like, is the turbo facebookers who comment on every little thing that others post! I rarely click the "like" because I know then I'll get a zillion updates to my email when others comment! Ugh.
ReplyDeleteI like this.
ReplyDeleteI don't "like" and I don't "repost if you agree."
ReplyDeleteJules: Yeah it starts a snowball effect. STOP THAT ALREADY. Ick. :)
ReplyDeleteMooooog: Of COURSE you do.
Eva: YES! GOOD FOR YOU! Me neither. Solidarity.
I am with you! I think Faceyspace and life in general should have a this-sucks-a-bag-of-dicks button.
ReplyDeleteI obviously agree. :) Let's petition!
ReplyDeleteI'd love to click 'suck my balls' on status messages!
ReplyDeletePS I LIKE your blog so much, I left you an award on mine...
ReplyDeleteI like giant donkey scrotums. But that's another story.
ReplyDeleteMy nemesis is captcha. I don't have the patience to pay the cover to get in a club but you want me to retype a fictional word over and over again just to make a pithy comment? Oh shit. Now I can't remember if your site does that. Shit. I'm potentially being a monster bitch here.
No wait, we're cool.
I think poking a stranger in real life is legal if you argue the technicality. Assuming you're not paying for the sex, it's a one night stand with someone you've never met before and may not even know their name.
ReplyDeleteI read this post in my Google Reader, and no shit, someone "liked" it. Fucking irony.
Oh, my dear, I adore you sooo much. I'm guilty of hitting the like button, but 9/10 times I leave a comment. Sometimes I just don't have anything of value to contribute... I love your take on the whole thing, though! You are friggin' hilarious!
ReplyDeleteP.S. I think I'm inlove with "Johnson" and his response.
ReplyDeleteDisastrous: Yes that would be a fine option I think. :)
ReplyDeleteJoshua: WHAT a surprise.
You know, there's also ambiguity about what exactly people are liking when they click "like" on something. The article or the topic? Who knows?
Ms. Salti: Haha, well I'm not hating anyone for hitting "like" on anything I'm just griping about how it's everywhere as FB is taking over the world and I still can't see the POINT of it. Although it seems like the moment anyone reads anything they feel compelled to either "like" or "dislike" it. It's become an obsession.
I have to admit I have "like"d.
ReplyDeleteI dunno. I was young, I was impetuous, I'd placed something on my tongue 30 minutes earlier and everything just seemed kinda groovy, ya know?
But really, yeah. I both like and will NOT like this post.
If ya know what I mean.
Pearl
Hee, yes I know what you mean. I mean I don't hold it against anyone, if they "like" things, it just irks me that it's so obsessive it seems to render "liking" anything, meaningless.
ReplyDeleteAlso? I'll have what you're having.
I have clicked like buttons...
ReplyDeleteNot because I'm vapid, but because I was too lazy to actually type out a comment...
Wait, did I just admit to being vapid?
Haha, no I don't think anyone could call YOU vapid. :) Funny and crazy in a good way maybe. Vapid, no.
ReplyDeleteOn...um...a social site that shall remain nameless...I posted a Kidnapping Police Artist Sketch today. My friend's daughter was abducted. Terrible. Terrible. So people clicked "Like". Really? So you like the kidnapping? Or the child rape? or? Blech. I will play the "me too" game and say, I agree. F the Like system.
ReplyDeleteElly: No captchas here, ladyfriend! :) Sorry, your comment sort of came in late. WTF?
ReplyDeleteMeow: That is CREEPY. Sorry about your friend's daughter, that's awful. But what sort of person "likes" that? I guess they are approving your posting the poster but still. It's a little tasteless too. It just sounds all wrong. Good luck to your friend though, I hope that works out well.
Soo, what you're saying is that you are on facebook and have not friended me.
ReplyDeleteME - the fellow redhead who has one of your faboo works of art on display like the treasure it undeniably is in my hallway among family portraits and important crap like that?!?! Me? Really?
I'm hurt, Veg. Hurt.
Where's the 'this sucks' button?
What I said was "I don't DO Facebook". :) Pay attention woman. Jeeze!
ReplyDeleteMade me think of this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrlSkU0TFLs
ReplyDeleteLOL. Seriously, that's what FB is like to me. People friending people they've only just heard of remotely or know from eons ago. And yeah. In real life, it would be CREEPY! :)
ReplyDeleteThe whole like thing is about as annoying as that warlock with tiger blood that shall not be named. Perhaps the like button is for lazy people that can't form or be bothered with giving an actual opinion.
ReplyDeleteWith that being said, the next time you stop by my snarky blog will you please click "LIKE" on my facebook fan box so you can officially become a fan? ; )
I'm a blog whore and I like it!
Hahahaha, nicely played Empress. Don't I need to be on Facebook to do it? Inquiring minds want to know.
ReplyDeleteRe Poking Strangers: I think that it should be compulsory, but with certain caveats.
ReplyDeleteI have buttons at the end of my blog. You are not expected to push my buttons..... but I might rename them since reading this edifying post. You're an inspiration VA!
Have a great weekend, Boonie
Can I please be your friend on Facebook?
ReplyDeleteBoonie: You're going to rename your buttons, Boonster? That sounds vulgar and awesome all at once. Doesn't Mrs. S. know?
ReplyDeleteMuffy: Haha, screw you hippy. FB is the DEVIL.
Mrs S knows everything.....
ReplyDeleteHere's the thing. Are sucking balls bad? I haven't sucked balls so I'm guessing yes, but when did that become a phrase meaning "terrible"? What if some people like sucking balls?
ReplyDelete"Man, THAT SUCKED BALLS. I LOVED IT"
Could happen.
Boonie: I'll bet she does.
ReplyDeleteRahul: Trust you to traumatize me with things I hadn't even considered. Thanks a lot. How about we change it to, "This sucks sweaty balls"? Just to be sure.
You are most definitely winning, babe! I enjoy watching you slam other states more than when you did mine. :) I know some of those hippies in Boulder and they are all tree huggers, too. They ride their bikes to work every day. In that cold, are you nuts?! Of course, I'm not going to do that here, and it's usually warm.
ReplyDeleteTalkativeTaurus.com
See this would be why all those Boulderites are so damn fit. I'll tell you one thing though dude. I bet even those stoned, glassy eyed hippies of Boulder can post their comment on the right entry. :) OH SNAP!
ReplyDeletelikes this. Just sayin'. :P
ReplyDeleteNow you're just pushing it, lady. :)
ReplyDeleteGetting feisty in my old age.... :)
ReplyDeleteNothing wrong with a bit of feisty. So long as you're not throwing things at me. :)
ReplyDeleteToo bad I came to your site instead of reading this in my Reader. Then I could have liked it and hit the star button just cuz I can! But I had to come here to show you that I can comment on the right freakin' post this time. Drats!
ReplyDeleteHahaha, I LIKE that I caused a dilemma. But just think. I stopped you being predictable, right?
ReplyDeleteI was reading this in my google reader and, just as I thought "Ha! I'm going to click like because that would be totally funny", you go and say it wouldn't be and you'd kick my ass. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteSo, I'm just going to stand here and wait for you to kick the two people that actually did like it. Because there's no disputing the humor in that. Ass kicking is always funny.
P.S. - I like you.
You sound like you've had a large cocktail or seven there, missy. I hope so anyway. :)
ReplyDeleteOk, so I can't believe more of these comments didn't go completely astray due to the Rhino vs Donkey vs Lottie's husband's green balls quandry. Cuz dude, I like, can't even remember what the post was about now.
ReplyDelete