Playing Catch-Up

I just returned from four long fabulous days in the country, with zero access to the Internet. Who knew how refreshing that could be? It was like the old days or something. I practically expected to fetch water with a pail and read by candlelight while some slightly deformed, one-toothed gent said things like “Aaar, don’t be out in them thar dark forest alone, me lady, queer things be afoot in them thar woods...” before giving me a knowing, dark look and shuffling off to the cellar where he lives incestuously with his sister.

So yes, it was four days spent drinking long cups of coffee, having two hour breakfasts, lots of naps, sitting in gigantic recliners nursing hot drinks and skidooing like a fiend, through the open fields and hills while cackling maniacally to myself things like, “Yeah baby, I am Evel Knievel!” as I flew over hills and valleys and frozen lakes, terrorizing deer and getting snow burn on my face and snow in my pants.

Which is better than bugs in my pants, as you all know by now.

And if there’s one thing that frightens me more than bugs crawling up my ass it’s standing on frozen water that might give way at any moment sending me to a watery, very chilly grave. But you’d have been proud of me as I skidooed over that lake like a demented ice nymph.

Ok so maybe the the water right there was about a foot deep but still. That shit is cold.

All in all pretty satisfying. Plus when you’re skidooing alone as I mostly was, you can talk to yourself and guffaw out loud at unlikely things and no one can give you the look. You know the look… I am not the only person who knows the look, people.

Then yesterday, after a gruelling, snowy seven hour drive home, I was greeted at the door by my Google Reader with a frown on its face, yelling, “I am stuffed to the gills with posts, fucker, do you think you could read some blogs before I burst?”

That thing is so damn demanding!

So yes, I am a bit behind with online life, so forgive me that I haven’t read any blogs or done much commenting lately, I am overwhelmed with bloggyness. Do you know how much I ache? I feel like I’ve been body slammed by Mike Tyson. Goddamn skidoos.

So I will get to your blogs in a bit, but there are a lot of them and I am busy as a little fuck therefore, I may be a bit silent on commenting until I am current again, capiche?