Happy Easter, peeps (see what I did there – topical relevance, although isn’t “relevance” kind of redundant in that phrase, I don’t know. Or care…)
I hope you all had a moment of contemplative silence today, to remember what Easter is all about. That’s right! Getting to the supermarket early to snap up those bargain, half price Easter eggs! I still haven’t eaten much chocolate in eons – well, I did have a piece of Tonka Bean chocolate the other day (effing delicious, incidentally, I recommend) – however, today, being Easter, means I have to BY LAW eat some chocolate or the holiday police show up and threaten to pinch and twist your personals till you scream (allegedly). So I’m endeavoring to go out later and buy as many Cadbury eggs as I can find, then eat them till I pass out in a sugar coma.
No one can say I don’t get in the spirit of Easter.
Talking of spirits, because “segue” is my middle name, last night I went out for Mexican food and margaritas and daiquiris. I contemplated writing this entry last night but wisely remembered the nonsense I write when I’m SOBER and figured that it was probably a heinous mistake to even consider more drunken blogging. See, I’m maturing. Like a good cheese.
Anyway, the margaritas, served by the pitcher and made with fresh strawberries and enough tequila to pickle your innards, were superb, as were the daiquiris, also made from freshly mushed up strawberries and enough rum to ensure your brain was as pickled as your innards. And really, how could you have a bad night after that? You couldn’t. Well unless you got a blister the size of a quarter on the sole of your foot. And what’s more annoying than that, except a blister the size of a quarter on the sole of EACH foot (or Sarah Palin) which hello! I have. The blister I mean, not Sarah Palin. Damn boots. Ouch.
At least my knee’s doing better. Pretty soon I’ll be able to boot annoying people right in the ass again as always. I’m totally kidding, of course. It’s my right knee. I boot with my left. My booting abilities never actually quit.
Anyway, a thing about Connecticut is coming soon. Soonish. I know you’re on tenterhooks. Whatever they are.
Happy Chocolate Day!
Everybody knows that easter is for celebrating the days off of work (who's this Jebus people are going on about?) and a regular excuse to eat candy and dress out like a bunny. Watch out, those man size bunnie costumes may have been through some seriously perverted activities before aired in the open. Just think of all the "furries" out there, just waiting to reveal themselves.
ReplyDeleteHappy Easter!!
ReplyDeleteThe eggs were already marked down just before Easter.
Can't wait to snag a Easter Bunny tomorrow. :)
xoxo,
Addie
The Cat Hag
Mahaha! Happy Easter, no matter how you celebrate! :) My favourite Easter chocolate is the little Cadbury eggs with the candy coating. So. Good.
ReplyDeleteI celebrated easter by patting cheetahs. So there, Jesus!!
ReplyDeleteWell, as usual, your post is super edumacational and informative and now I know what Dipteryx odorata seeds (or tonka beans) are all about. Please send me some immediately and I'll send you a cheetah. Thank you.
Sarah xxx
I love the Cadbury Caramel eggs the best. I don't know what Tonka Beans are...but I have Lindt Chocolate Peanut butter-filled Truffles....to die for!
ReplyDeleteHappy Easter, Veg!
I celebrated Easter by eating my weight in breakfast items loaded with grease, and putting up a picture on Facebook that gets me a free pass into hell!
ReplyDeleteYou are my new heathen hero, and if by some offchance hell really exists, I want to room with you there. I call top bunk.
ReplyDeleteThe end.
I am so stupid! I know your comments link are at the top of your posts, but I still commented on the wrong one. The comment for this post is with the stuff below.
ReplyDeleteWell, Vegetable "Segue" Assassin my dear, I can't think of a better way to celebrate Easter than by eating Cadbury's mini eggs and getting rat-arsed on margaritas. Almost makes you forget your knees, I hope. Happy Easter!
ReplyDeleteI had two fried eggs this morning, but I don't think that counts, so I'm off to eat some Lindt chocolates now. Thanks for the reminder.
ReplyDeleteMy Walmart is 24hr so I waited till midnight and went and bought about a million 1/2 price creme eggs. Okay not quite a million but still, a ridiculous amount.
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid I don't like Cadbury... too sweet for me and doesn't qualify as chocolate! I like my chocolate dark. Unless it's the home-made brownies I baked yesterday (using dark chocolate of course!), then a bit of extra sugar is okay. Best thing about brownies for dessert? Leftover brownies for breakfast the next day!!! yummmmm
ReplyDeleteI had much merriment in telling people "Happy Zombie Day!" We have absolutely no evidence to say he didn't start eating brains... Heh.
ReplyDeleteWe celebrated Easter by flying from Seattle to Chicago yesterday. I was utterly disappointed in Southwest Airlines that the stewardesses were NOT wearing bunny ears.
ReplyDeleteBitches.
But the airports were almost completely empty, so that was nice!
Best picture ever. I spent the weekend with this glorious intestinal bug and thought it best not to drink. That same part that thought it best not to drink ate too much Cadbury. It always makes it better. Or makes me believe it does.
ReplyDeleteIs THAT how you spell "segue"?
ReplyDeleteMy mind, she is blown.
Wynn: This reminds me of "Frank" from "Donnie Darko" and now the Easter bunny is not cute anymore. He's Frank. I scared.
ReplyDeleteCat Hag: Happy Easter to you and your "bunny". And all those half price eggs. :)
Stephanie: Yes those little devils are the best. I have some right here actually inside one giant egg. Oh the heaven.
Sarah: Cheetahs you say? Well that's different. Tonka beans. Yum. In chocolate it gives it a mild vanilla and almond sort of flavour. 100% deliciousness.
Eva: I love those too. Anything with caramel in it is fine by me. But those little caramel eggs are to die for. Oh yes...
Skypop: Good for you! And this picture sounds fascinating and almost worth signing up for. :)
ReplyDeleteAbby: I am a heathen ANTI hero, missy! :) Although you have a fight on your hands for the top bunk. Outside, beeyatch.
Pat: Hahaha, oh if I had a dollar for every time someone did that I'd be in the Caribbean on a yacht right now. :)
Rich: Dead right, Sassenach. It's the only way really. And my knees they thank you. As they are feeling good.
Sarah: No it really does not. Chocolate must be involved. I hope you did it. And that it was indeed Lindt as Lindt is straight from heaven.
Lauren: See that is the spirit. Really. Initiative AND willing. And reward. Good for you! Now share. :)
ReplyDeleteCris: See, now it is totally evident where the Crazy part of your name comes in. Cadbury is hallelujah chorus good (well unless you buy it in the US in which case, MEH) and you are wrong. So there. :)
Lord: Well I would be into zombie day myself, for sure, so long as all the brains consumed were chocolate.
Cora: Well how dare they? That is truly NOT entering into the spirit of things. SKY MUFFINS! Get bunny ears immediately even though it's no longer Easter.
Meow: Oh poo! I hope you're feeling better. How dare you have a nasty bug when it's chocolate day? It's not allowed. In fact, it's illegal.
Sarah: Well, it does not take much, does it? :)
It's about the bunnies. And their fucking. At least that's what my brother announced at the dinner table yesterday while accompanied by some pretty graphic visual aids.
ReplyDeleteDude, your family sound delightfully messed up, which is a-ok in my book. :)
ReplyDeleteI had a shit-ton of chocolate yesterday and it was indeed a religious experience.
ReplyDeleteThen you know what? You DID IT RIGHT! I hope angels sang. :)
ReplyDeleteUh-oh. If I don't get some chocolate soon, the police will be after me. Do biscuits count?
ReplyDeleteso that's where the Crazy comes from! I was wondering about that... :p
ReplyDeleteMy son informed me that his father called the Easter Bunny to tell him that they'd be at a hockey tournament in Canada, so not to bother hiding the eggs at his house.
ReplyDeleteI, of course, hid the eggs at my house and left an enormous Easter basket with Star Wars Action Figures. (Hey, you do Easter your way, I'll do it mine.)
So after telling me this, my son says: "I don't believe my dad talked to the Easter bunny on the phone. That's ridiculous. Everybody knows rabbits don't have phones."
Your middle name is 'Segway'? Is that like a product endorsement or something? Did they pay you? You have one, right? Like Will here?
ReplyDeleteBoobs.
I got a little exercise on Easter and threw rocks in a lake. Maybe years from now I'll think of some religious connection but right now I just can't.
ReplyDeleteHmmm. Clearly you are missing the most important tradition of the holiday which is to eat Peeps until you puke. Which generally takes about...3 peeps.
ReplyDeleteI celebrated Easter by gambling in an Indian casino where I lost money so I ended up drinking my woes at the bar eating taquitos and drinking vodka.
ReplyDeleteLove me some Cadbury. I need to find some friends to help me polish off this son of a bitch.
ReplyDeleteTonka bean chocolate, you say? I wish the FDA would reverse that stupid ban. Looks like I need to make my way up to Canada again and eat me some.
You know what pisses me off about Easter? The effing stores are closed! Target was closed. Costco was closed. I missed my effing yoga class because I scheduled it on my calendar while I was on Central time, not Mountain time... and now I'm rambling. Stupid Easter Bunny.
ReplyDeleteStrawberries and Mexican food? Yech. You gotta go lime margaritas when you eat Mexican; which, oddly enough is precisely what I did for Easter. Also, I don't want to ruin your life, but Cadbury cream eggs are disgusting. It always reminds me of snot when someone cracks one of those things open.
ReplyDeleteMY Jesus would never eat a Cadbury egg. In fact, he once said, "Any man or woman who shalt eat the Cadbury egg is an abomination. Robin Eggs are where it's at, yo-eth."
ReplyDeleteWhat if your middle name was "Segway" and not Segue. That would be weird but you would make a lot of money from sponshorships.
ReplyDeleteLet's all be rich!
I've named my first kid. Nintendo Jello.
Martin: Of course! Are they CHOCOLATE biscuits? Cos then they're mandatory. I make the rules.
ReplyDeleteCris: See? I know everything. And I make the rules.
Mandy: Your son is too smart for this world. He needs more chocolate. :) Or maybe we do. Either way, the Easter bunny may be fake but the chocolate is not. Therefore, this is perfectly fine. I have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?
Eric: No, it's SEGUE. Don't get all punny with me, Mr. Although Segways look like wicked fun. I used to see a chick on one on Fifth Avenue in NYC during my walk home from work. That chick had BALLS. Hence negating her chickdom.
Lisle: You're just plain doing it wrong, dude. But hell, throwing rocks has its therapy. Not as good as eating chocolate but still. Well done!
Megs: Clearly YOU, young lady, are missing the fundamental point of the entire thing - PEEPS are HIDEOUS and if you can even eat one, you have an asbestos stomach. Nasty things! I have spoken.
ReplyDeleteIz: Well it's different but had its own romance really. Especially since you lost and ending up having a Mexican feast. This sounds poetic to me.
Joshua: If you need a hand with that creme egg, call me. :) That's what dreams are made of. Truly. The FDA are assholes. Tonka bean chocolate is harmless and delicious. It's only one of its make up ingredients that can be used to make a harmful substance that's bad.
Ms. Salti: How dare they give those employees a holiday? Those thoughtless bastards! :) Haha!
Johnson: Lime are the ultimate, I have to agree. But I was with other people who were all about the strawberry and I like those too so you know. It's booze, it's tasty and as I told you before, I like my lady drinks. :) I had Amaretto too. So there.
Beck: Your Jesus is in your head, woman. If he was real he'd be a Cadbury fan and he wouldn't let you near that Hershey nonsense. Or Damon Albarn.
Rahul: Yes that would be weird. Uh huh. Freak boy. :) Although I'd be more than impressed if you did name your kid Nintendo Jello. Then I'd want to lick him and twist his knobs. Wait...what?
Umm...discount Cadbury. Spent $6 yesterday, walked out with 16 regular size and one mini-12 pack of Creme Eggs. I'm set for today.
ReplyDeleteGood boy. That's what I call a score! If you don't eat till you puke, you're doing it totally wrong. Plus creme eggs are just wonderful and people (and you know who you are) who don't like them are just plain defective. That's all I'm saying.
ReplyDeleteGuess I am defective then.
ReplyDeleteI knew it!!
Now, YOU said it, Mama. Not I. Uh huh! :)
ReplyDeleteYou out did yourself with that one. I LOLed a lot : ) Thanks for the laughs!
ReplyDeletePowdergirl: Are you drunk, young lady? Pffft! But I'm glad you're easy to please. :)
ReplyDeleteWait were you talking about Easter or Connecticut? I'm confused...
ReplyDeletealso, where I was born!
ReplyDeleteWell 'm shertainly not shober forgodshake.
ReplyDeleteConnecticut : )
Certainly not sober!
ReplyDeleteConnecticut : )
NW: Um... :) Hee!
ReplyDeletePowdergirl: Certainly you are. That's why you posted that comment twice. Yay! Crazy lady.
First..totally unrelated, I LOVE your poppy paintings. Im getting a Wizard of Oz inspired poppy tattoo soon and every time I see your paintings I click my heels...Did you do Kansas already??
ReplyDeleteOnto Connecticut. My boyfriend is from Long Island. His dad lives in the burbs of Connecticut. It feels like Im at Disneyland when we visit. I'm from So Cal. We dont have shit that old here. Oh, and his dad was neighbors with Martha Stewart until she moved. He lives near Rob Zombie now. Hows that for a neighborhood in the burbs? I like it..but its too cold. Again, So Cal. It is what it is. Below 70 degrees and I put in a hoodie.. : )
Sad news, but the Easter Bunny "forgot" to visit me. This means NO CHOCOLATE. And, obviously, I'm too cheap to go out and buy some that are even on sale. Where's a boyfriend when you need one?
ReplyDeleteSunny: Well thank you, ma'am. I'm not sure why I suddenly painted poppies. Change of scenery I guess. I felt like something different. But I like the colours!
ReplyDeleteAlso, you wimp. :) Californians make me laugh. Esp. when they post on the wrong post. HA!
Shanimal: You poor, poor girl. I'm almost too emotional to even respond after that sad, sad comment.
Your blog rocks! I check it everyday and it provides me hours of entertainment in which, technically, I should be working. But I have priorities!
ReplyDeleteHeidi
http://heidimarkstyle.blogspot.com/