Ten random, not very interesting thoughts to share with the world:
1) Setting the treadmill on the big, “fuck-off incline” setting (I may be paraphrasing) when the weather is over 20 degrees C. out, is not conducive to preserving my delicate calm (thanks a BUNCH Cora for making me feel inferior enough to do it!) Did you even KNOW that ears can sweat? Me either! On the upside it’s a great time to invent some new swearwords.
2) Fun with autocorrect. My phone uses Swype which I love. It’s truly awesome and every lazy texter’s dream. However it keeps making me text people utter nonsense, particularly if you've partaken in a few beverages and aren’t paying proper attention. For example, swearing loses its effect when you type things like, “Jesus Chrissy!” Or I’m trying to snarkily call someone a “cocksmoker” but it keeps turning it into “childminder”. You lose your swear impact slightly when you say, “I hate that guy, he’s a total CHILDMINDER!”
3) There is no better pizza than a supermarket-bought, stuffed crust, four cheese pizza topped at home with an added ton of smooshed garlic, chopped up veggie hotdogs, onions and sundried tomatoes. NONE! Try it. You’ll be kissing my feet with gratitude. Extra hint: seasoned potato wedges to accompany. Oh yes! You WILL swoon.
4) If you like red wine, please do try my favourite, “Banrock Station Reserve”, from southern Australia. I love the stuff. DELICIOUS. Their regular wine is great too but the reserve is just beautiful. It goes on sale for half price fairly regularly here and that’s when I pick it up! No they’re not paying me. Jesus Chrissy, I wish they would!
6) While it would be nice if my reading glasses made me look like a hot librarian, they make me look more like a bedraggled halfwit at a physics fair.
7) I’ve been doing some research on E numbers and food additives and preservatives and it’s making me never want to eat or drink again. That is some scary shit, people. Plus it’s started a war in my body. I love food. I am now scared of food. What to do?
8) I have just finished playing my own fancy version of “Edelweiss” on the ukulele. Worship me.
9) I’m finally almost caught up with “Fringe” after missing half the last season due to moving etc. That show is preposterous. But it’s GOOD preposterous. It’s like “Lost” and “The X-Files” had a messy one night stand and “Fringe” was the result.
10) There’s nothing wrong with doing things on your own. Movies, meals, walks. It’s all good! Solo power!
I think that covers it.
I just rebelled against my orthodontist's warning not to drink red wine for the first time last night.
ReplyDeletePink braces be damned.
I'll have to try that Banrock Station Reserve!
Ooh! Bedraggled physics fair halfwit. That's hot!
ReplyDeleteAs for the whole food research thing, I say, what doesn't kill me, probably makes me fatter... Then it kills me.
Mandy: Do it! It's worth every penny. And pink braces. :)
ReplyDeleteVinny: Hahaha! Well I'm not giving up food so you know...live in denial, that's what I'll do. And yeah. "Hot" might not be the word for me at all right now. Ha!
I've realized that lately red wine gives me a headache, no matter how little I drink. This upsets me because me likey red wine. Sad face.
ReplyDeleteI think I'm going to have catch up on Fringe after the whole thing is over. I'm still trying to finish Battlestar Galactica (which melts my brain it's so good) and since Breaking Bad is now on Netflix streaming, we're gonna tackle that one next. Too much TV to watch!
You're preaching to the choir with that doing things solo thing. Couldn't agree more. Half the movies I see, I see them solo. Eating, walking, traveling, museums, concerts. Yup, I have no problem doing any of that stuff solo. Sometimes I prefer it even. Yay for Introverts!
I am with ya on the solo power!
ReplyDeleteAnd I love fringe.
Dirty Childminders...minding those children and all that. Mine always seems to go the other way. Like I'm trying to say "Did you pick up the papers?" and it changes "papers" to "penis". Why does autocorrect hate me so?
ReplyDeleteI don't drink, so I'll have to check out that wine for cooking. Nothing like a good red wine in sketti sauce...mmmmmmm.
Nic: I used to get headaches from red wine too but I've been drinking much BETTER wine than I used to and it doesn't happen now at all. Weird. But awesome.
ReplyDeleteHa, you have a lot of TV to tackle, and all of it is the good stuff! Yay for you having taste!
Penny: Yes! See? You too have exquisite taste m'dear!
Charlie: YOU CANNOT PUT GOOD WINE IN A SAUCE! :) That's what cheap wine is for. However, I'll let you off.
Bring on the wine! Screw the pink teeth!
ReplyDeleteYeah! That's what toothpaste was invented for, no? :)
ReplyDeleteRed wine makes my skull split, which will absolutely RUIN a good shirt.
ReplyDeleteChildminder.
hee hee
Pearl
Pearl: Yes, that would be hard to explain to the dry cleaners... although, a customer coming in without a head, he'd probably have more to think about.
ReplyDelete"Childminders" is great for when you want people to think someone's a pedophile.
ReplyDeleteLook at you all uke mad now! I told you my bf has 17 of them, right?
ReplyDeleteShare those new swear words lady.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the wine tip and please let me know if you need any help with those swear words!
ReplyDeleteAh, the joys of autocorrect... I don't even need to imbibe that Banrock reserve to make an arse of myself... like the time I texted a friend asking for some tips on yoga breathing as I thought it would help my Aikido, only autocorrect thought I was having problems with my libido ;-)
ReplyDeleteI have never heard "cocksmoker" before and am terribly excited to have learned something new here today. :)
ReplyDeleteJust stumbled onto your blog and immediately see pictures of Boba Fett, Desmond, and Cylons! And then you mention, Lost, X-Files, Fringe and Wine in your post.
ReplyDeleteJesus Chrissy, I'm on board.
I understand the auto-swear-correct. I mean, how the fuck are my kids suppose to know what I'm actually saying?
ReplyDeleteThe wine - I WILL have to try.
The food - I've been warring with this sad sack of flesh for far too long. Today it's wine, powdered doughnuts, candy, and sexy butter.
(Make your own butter, add lg. salt crystals = better than sex. ... but not better than chocolate. HHmmm, I'm going to have to eat some of that now too.)
Screw the chemicals. I want to be well pickled when I die.
Fact: Pickles are good.
UKE VIDEO. UKE VIDEO. UKE VIDEO.
ReplyDeleteOne of the things I love doing alone the most is talking walks with my camera. You just don't get that opportunity to take fivehundredandeleven pictures of that beetle when you have someone breathing down your neck.
ReplyDeleteOh, and after doing low carb and realising how MUCH RUBBISH there is in EVERYTHING THAT'S EVER BEEN SOLD IN A STORE (almost) I'm like, I give up. Let me die preserved from drinking coke and all DNA-messed up and all that. My five cents: "I reject your reality and substitute my own!". Works.. pretty well. Denial is something I cherish.
Joshua: Yes, I think this will now be code for just that!
ReplyDeleteJude: Remember back in the day when I LAUGHED at that? :) Ukes are awesome!
Martin: Well now, I'm going to keep them to crop up in future entries...you can have "cocksmoker" although honestly it came from someone else so I can't really take credit.
Empress: I'll let you know, missy. I know you'll be able to help out with that. :)
Nat: Special breathing for your libido is a little alarming. But funny. And a little interesting. Hmmm. Stupid phones.
Mama: Anytime! You come here, I give you potty mouth words to try out.
Christian: And what's not to like about all those things? Nothing! You clearly have impecable taste! Welcome!
Chef: Pickles are indeed good, Chef. The butter thing is interesting. Is your salt crystals thing a bit like just buying salted butter? Because salted is WAY superior, just like all unhealthy things, no? :)
ELLY: You know it's not going to happy, girlie. You can beg but no. Besides, that's YOUR department. :)
ReplyDeleteWynn: I agree. Cut out every damn stupid substance they try to poison us with and we'd be eating cardboard. :) So yeah. I'm with you. Besides who can give up a nice Coke now and then although did you know that Coke (at least in the US, I can't vouch for Europe) is NOT suitable for vegans due to the use of fish gelatine in the brewing process? WTF?
ReplyDeleteHoly crap, I did not know that. I.. I really shouldn't check up on it. I SHOULD tell my vegan friend though..
ReplyDeletesomeone beat me to it but I thought Childminder was code for peadophile too. And the Banrock Station is pretty good. It also comes in a cask of red that's the best Goon you can buy.
ReplyDeleteThe preservative stuff gets me every time. Except with Oreos. I tell myself those are God's food.
ReplyDeleteI really miss X-files.
ReplyDeleteI was such a nerd for it.
Wynn: A lot of soft drinks use a similar process. It's a mess trying to figure out which though. I believe Pepsi doesn't use this process but I don't know what they DO use.
ReplyDeleteTenny: I'd never heard of that but I guess it makes sense. :) And yeah I love the Banrock! The reserve has a great blackberryish aroma. Delicious.
Libby: You tell yourself that! I'm sure you're even right. I tell myself the same thing about cheese. Rennet? What's THAT? :)
ReplyDeleteJUST ME: Me too! God, I miss that show. Sigh.
I'm so on the fence about Fringe! (On the fringe about Fringe? No, but there's a pun here somewhere). I think I have commitment anxiety about new TV shows. Y'know, after the first three episodes...you're hooked. You've gotta watch 'em all. And I'm a see-every-episode-in-order kinda girl. And my DVR is already 95% full. But yet....X-Files and Lost love child...Vegetable Assassin...has talked me into trying Fringe...NOOOOOOOOO!
ReplyDeleteYou wily lass, you.
You've also talked me into trying your pizza secret. Even though my hips are already fuller than my DVR.
Hahaha, Fringe is good wintertime entertainment. Full of intrigue and sci fi (some cheesy) and very dark and X-Filesy, so you might like it!
ReplyDeleteTry the pizza thing too it's SO GOOD IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL! :)
Maybe if you weren't watching Fringe and drinking wine while running on an inclined treadmill, your ginger ears wouldn't sweat.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny because I was thinking maybe they sweat as a sign of the apocalypse or something then you pop up with a comment and I KNOW it's true... :) You/The Apocalpyse? Same thing!
ReplyDeleteAllow me to spell that again. APOCALYPSE. There.
ReplyDeleteFantastic list. For some reason I read No. 10 as "Movies, moon walks." Which is also something you can -- and sort of should -- do alone.
ReplyDeleteDude, the combined force of more than one person moonwalking at once would make Michael Jackson rise from his grave, swivel twice, grab his groin, shriek and die all over again.
ReplyDeleteHey! You ASKED for my treadmill opinion and I gave it to you. Incline, it's a good thing. So is ear sweat.
ReplyDeleteSo there. :-P
No, no, you are RIGHT it IS a good thing, it's just that my leg muscles hate you right now. :) Ha! I'm not a full on incliner like you yet though. Give me time.
ReplyDeleteHe's a CHILDMINDER??? EEEwwwwwww!! I'm pretty sure you become someone's bitch in prison for that kind of behavior.
ReplyDelete#7) I understand the whole I-love- food-but-like-a-bad-boy-with-a- motorcycle-and-a-checkered-past-it-sorta-scares-me-a-little. Reading about additives and preservatives is a frightening business. Would you like a little bit of poison with your stuffed crust pizza? It makes it extra delicious!
No, see, Holly, this is how it works: When it's something I LOVE A LOT like stuffed crust pizza, it automatically is made from rainbows, fluffy clouds, pure raindrops and magic. There are no bad things in it. See? No fat, no calories, no artificial things, nothing. Got that? Ok then. :)
ReplyDeleteSorry I have arrived so late at the party, but I had to tell you I think Fringe is so damn fantastic that it is the only thing I watch live and not recorded.
ReplyDeleteDude, it is an awesome show. And just when you've had enough it ups the stakes. Awesome! I am now up to date, yeehaw!
ReplyDeleteI wish that my glasses (yeah, the ones that are on my face from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed) made me look like a sexy librarian. I'm always so envious of people who look better in glasses than without.
ReplyDelete#6 is equally sexy either way.
ReplyDelete#8 ruins it.
:p
Minding children is pretty bad in my book, if it's me that's stuck doing it.
ReplyDelete