Monday, September 19th, 2011 – sunny, socks, coffee, dried cherries
Well, it seems that autumn has finally gotten its big, fat foot in the door and is taking up lodging. The days are shortening, the nights are getting chilly and I’ve been frantically realizing I need to invest in some sweaters again before I wake up one morning and find I’ve turned into Jack Nicholson in “The Shining” when he freezes to death in that creepy assed maze.
Only with a lot more hair and less psychotic tendencies. Well, slightly less. OK, that last one is debatable maybe.
I like autumn/fall a lot actually. I like the blue skies, clear air and the chill. I like the orange and red leaves and the creepy Halloween vibe. I want to bash some conkers together like we used to do when I was a kid. The only part of the autumn I don’t like is when it ends and that asshole winter shows its face again. Could we not abolish winter? Just have three seasons of awesomeness and no cold any more? I’m going to absolutely instigate this as a law when I’m the ruler of some divine world force that everyone has to bow down to. Send donations now, please, all those cocktails, wine, cheese and cupcakes needed for my “campaign” won’t be cheap! I’ll make it worth your while.
Know what might fix things? Some good coffee, a ukulele and a nice slice of carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. You with me?
You’ll all be thrilled to know my toe, one month on, is still hurting and still fat as Octomom before she popped. It is, however, no longer purple. Just red. And huge. And less hurty than it was but still pretty achey and sorry for itself. “Drink a Kopparberg and shut the hell up, Toe!” I keep telling it, but it never listens.
You guys, if you can find Kopparberg cider, particularly the pear one, anywhere near you, get it immediately, chill carefully and drink the shit out of it. That’s my advice for the day. It’s the best advice you’ll ever get. And cider’s made from apples and apples are autumny no? See? We’re topical.
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So. People have nudged me about my total ineptness at updating this thing and they are correct. It's just, I don't have a life reall...
I would love for fall to arrive here in TX. We're still stuck in summer. At least most of TX isn't on fire anymore. For now. I'm pretty sure we'll skip fall all together. We'll have about 2 weeks of winterish weather. Then it will be summer again. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteThe cider sounds good.
I've not heard of Kopparberg before, but now I want a Strongbow.
ReplyDeleteNobody invited Winter. He just crashes the party every year, and I'm getting tired of it.
ReplyDeleteFirst, after reading the comment above, I want to move to Texas now.
ReplyDeleteSecond, why are you still over there?
And why are you looking for a job?
As if the UK wasn't bad enough, now you're going to work at it AND stay?
Amanda: Dude, really? That's a COMPLAINT? :) OK I know you have SUPER heat but really I'd trade. Super heat for some of this rain? Please take it.
ReplyDeleteJoshua: Kopparberg will make your Strongbow taste like piss. I like Strongbow but K'berg is just so damn FRUITY. Delicious. If you see it, get it.
JUST ME: Damn right he does. Ass! We need to drive him out. Seriously.
Ed: Because I live back here now dude. Have done for months and months. You need to pay attention. Tsk!
You had me all panicky at the mere mention of winter, but then you made me all snuggly thinking about carrot cake and ukuleles. Ps I have the beat ever recipe for carrot cake in the history of all humanity. I should send it to you. The recipe, not the cake. I don't have that kind of restraint.
ReplyDeleteAlso? I meant best. Though I guess you can beat a cake if you really want to.
ReplyDeleteAnd...I think you WILL send it to me, ladyfriend. Before you get too busy with poop and you know...not sleeping. :)
ReplyDelete*sigh*
ReplyDeleteWinter is indeed crappy... unless you can afford a fabulous skiing vacation in the Alps or the Pyrenees or... Otherwise, what's the point?!
Send me a slice of that carrot cake, will you? I can't even get a reply to the CVs I've sent out! Stupid crisis... thank god for there being so many Spaniards who need English classes so at least I can "get by" on private lessons. But I want a "REAL" job! *sniff*
Cris: I know!!! Everyone seems to be either job sharing here or working part time or doing temporary work, as there are no regular full time jobs out there it seems! Pah! It'll get better dude. Someday.
ReplyDeleteVeg: from your lips to TPTB's ears! Oh wait, that may soon be you! ;o)
ReplyDeleteDude, I've been guzzling Kopparbergs Cider for years and years. People, standardly, start off with the forest fruit cider and then move onto more grown up drinks like pear cider, beer wine and then it all goes haywire with scotches and tequila. Is it a new thing where you're at or what, I've seen it mentioned here and there lately but not before?
ReplyDeleteOh and autumn should totally be extended in time. Shit, some years you get like a month of crappy rainy autumn before it starts to snow and the trees are green and like "wtf!" and drops all their leaves still green and I get soulfully disappointed.
Wynn: Fairly new I guess, new to me for sure, since I've been back here. I love the pear the most but the mixed fruity one is good too and the regular apple. Pear forever though. That stuff is THE BEST.
ReplyDeleteI had a feeling you'd know it. :)
Oh and just because my social anxiety sets in, I have to point out that I didn't.. point out that I've been drinking that cider for years and years and therefor is more fashionable than you are, just that I still haven't gotten tired of it.
ReplyDeleteAnd, stay away from the 7.0% one. Those things are DANGEROUS.
Hahaha, oh you just know I'm looking for that next time I'm grocery shopping...
ReplyDeleteKopparberg? I am all over pear cider. Have you tried Crispin? Fox Barrel? HAVE YOU TRIED THE NEW LAMBICS?! OMG, let's get together, set all the bottles in the middle and drink until we fall over.
ReplyDeleteYep. Fall's here...
Pearl
Hold on, hold on I'm writing them down!!! I have not tried those but I have tried other pear ciders. Most are good but taste to similar to regular apple. The Kopparberg though, is strongly pear. It's DIVINE. OH yeah. Cider is for Fall, ABSOLUTELY!
ReplyDeleteAnd summer.
Spring too.
It's good when it's cold in winter to warm your innards...
completely eliminating winter would be too extreme but shortening it to about 3 weeks would be great. Jobs - maybe some combination of cider and weather reporting. Do they pay wine tasters?
ReplyDeleteLisle: Hmm good idea! Three weeks so we still get to snow mobile and drink hot chocolate, then it's over, deal?
ReplyDeleteWinter is just Autumn's annoying little brother, tagging along everywhere Autumn goes, crapping his pants, breaking things, picking his nose and whining 24/7.
ReplyDelete*sigh*
Damn right! That's it exactly. No one likes winter. Whiny asshole! :)
ReplyDeleteWhy aren't you my best friend in real life? I feel like I totally get everything you say!
ReplyDeleteMy Grandfather was watching the Simpsons years ago and I asked him why the hell he's watching this crap? His response, "It's topical".
ReplyDeleteAnd so are you Vegetable Assassin. So are you.
So, long time, no see. I've been a bit MIA from blogland! And I'm currently on all sorts of drugs, so this could be an interesting comment. Actually, probably not, but I've missed you and all your wittiness. (Is that even a word?) I love Fall as well. Hate the shit out of Winter.
ReplyDeleteP.S. The BF almost ended up in ND for work... if my memory serves me correctly (which I'm sure it doesn't) we maybe could have met for coffee. But anyway, he's in TX now and I see no trips to ND anywhere in my near future.
So sorry about the toe and job woes! And re: winter, if it were up to me - it would last no more than 3 weeks. It would be filled with fluffy snow and bright blue skies. And also, we'd skip right over that awkward slushy end-of-winter bit.
ReplyDeletewhat happened to your toe? I'VE MISSED TOO MUCH NOOOOO
ReplyDeleteJules: That's because I've BRAINWASHED you!
ReplyDeleteVixen: Back away from the vodka, vixen! :)
Salti: I am no longer IN ND me dear, so it's just as well. Ha! Although I'm sure ND would still be pleased to have you. Feel better!
Stephanie: Oh God yes. Slush is way WAY worse than snow or ice. Horrible wet, brown nastiness. ICK!
PEE: HEY PEE!!! Hope you are well. Where have you been? What's going on?
I regret to hear that your toe hasn't healed. Take care of yourself, because, even if you prick your finger with a pin, it's not a good thing - not to mention when something is aching.
ReplyDeleteI also love fall. With all the details you've described. I have to admit winter in Canada is not that bad.
Olga: I hope winter in Canada doesn't turn you into an icicle. :) But enjoy Fall while you have it, that's for sure!
ReplyDeleteWhich reminds me, I need to get 5 gal of cider and start makin some hard cider!
ReplyDeleteYou know, when I first moved to the States and got cider I was expecting hard cider and I got APPLE JUICE damn it! Hard cider to me is just "cider". Why make it when you can buy it already perfect? Pfft. :)
ReplyDeleteWinter will be abolished as the globe heats up. Keep turning that heating up at home and bring it on sooner.
ReplyDeleteHa!!! I'm wearing two sweaters currently. You'd think I'd be hardened to this nonsense after a couple of winters in ND, no? No.
ReplyDeleteThe only way to get hardened to winter is to die. That way you never feel the cold, though it is a little drastic.
ReplyDeleteThe other alternative is to move the UK to the equator. It'll give the Navy something instersting to do.
Yes, especially around January when it's cold AND damp. I remember how that goes. Brrrrrrr.
ReplyDeleteFebruary's worse. Cold damp, windy, constant grey cloud and then it tempts you with spring around valentine's day before slapping you in the face with six days of drizzle. Not real rain, cold drizzle.
ReplyDeleteTwo things: What the sack are conkers and now I want carrot cake.
ReplyDeleteMartin: You are correct. It IS worse. :) Ick.
ReplyDeleteMartini: CONKERS of course! :) It's brutal. Knuckle destroying.
In 20 years winter won't exist anymore because of global warming blah blah blah. I suggest we al move to the sun. Imagine the tans we could have!!
ReplyDeleteI believe that's actually what it would take for ME to get a tan. I'm the colour of milk. :)
ReplyDeleteAw, I love winter. Don't ban it. I find it so much easier to warm up than to cool down. Besides, drinking a two litre mug of hot chocolate, with two bags of marshmallows in it and some good whiskey beside an open fire doesn't really work in summer.
ReplyDeleteAbout the only thing I might (might!) miss living in a colder climate is Fall weather. On the other hand I spent and hour today and yesterday in the pool at my apartment complex as it was a balmy 89 degrees here in Dallas. The sky had nary a cloud I might add. So... Fall can suck it.
ReplyDeleteTenny: Well you make a compelling argument but you're still wrong.:) Alhtough that scenario doesn't seem so bad. If you just take out the having to go out in the cold part of winter.
ReplyDeleteLady: Ha! I'd like 89 degrees, thanks. I like Fall but I like summer even better. Damn you. Heat and a pool. Sob.
You are correct. Cream cheese frosting can cure most anything, and winter is DEFINITELY a huge asshole.
ReplyDeleteAlso? Please. Steal the bikkini biscuit. Be my guest.
Winter is made more than bearable through the magical use of an elixir created from mingling hot chocolate with dark rum then, and this is the important bit so pay attention, drinking it.
ReplyDeleteHope your toe isn't a complete arse and starts pulling its weight soon.
Dawn: Yes, it can. It's a little known remedy for almost anything. Except your pants fitting. :)
ReplyDeleteTJ: I like this magical elixir you speak of. I'm sure it also cures many ills. I will be sure, for the good of mankind, to research it THOROUGHLY this winter. :)
Dude, we would LOVE to take your rain. We haven't had any rain in 3 months. Towns are running out of water. If you sneeze too hard the grass catches on fire from the spark. It's bad. And I hate the heat so I will trade with the person who wants to come here :)
ReplyDeleteoh and btw, when I said most of TX was on fire...I meant literally. Half the state went up in flames.
ReplyDeleteThat is awful. I have heard about it actually and it's so hard to imagine when I'm sitting here in RAIN. Which I'd happily donate to Texas if I could. All of it. I hope you get some relief soon, dude.
ReplyDeleteIll pass on 'Rubber,' but fly here and I will serve up my home made mac/cauliflower and cheese dish I made this afternoon...pretty great. Showing up at 7:30 am is GAWD -- the window washer deserved to see all the crack he did -- only sorry for you....but he has no doubt seen other interesting things in early morning bedrooms....
ReplyDeletegreat post! I love summer. I never complain about the heat.
ReplyDeleteI won't stand for this winter-bashing! It's a close second to fall for my favorite season. If I had to abolish one season, I'd actually get rid of...
ReplyDeleteSummer.
There, I said it.