Weird things are afoot in the highlands....
Not really. No more than usual I'm thinking. Bunch of northern weirdos. Ha!
What the hell am I talking about?
Well it's been a quiet, part rainy, sweatfest this weekend. I can't understand it. One moment it's monsooning (new word alert!) from the heavens and the next, even your ears are sweating like tiny moist cauliflowers. It's most unpleasant. Make up your mind, weather. Jesus. I appreciate the desert even more now. It might be five hundred degrees and out to kill you in a hundred different, nasty ways, but at least your cleavage remains dry as a Death Valley canyon.
Only you know...less sandy. Or deep. Or less full of psychopathic hippies. Usually. Moving on...
I have a Miley Cyrus song stuck in my head. And this can't be normal for any human being who isn't actually demented. It won't leave. It just dug in its hooks and there it is on a loop. How do I even know this song? I am alarmed at my psyche and its devious grasp of social media. Git out damn song! I recant my invitation.
That works for vampires, apparently.
Another Monday morning looms. Won't someone make them illegal already? Huh? Here's to you all having great weeks.
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So. People have nudged me about my total ineptness at updating this thing and they are correct. It's just, I don't have a life reall...
Och ma wee hen, divnay botha bout it!
ReplyDeleteIt will soon be back to the bland tepid drizzle.....unpleasant but familiar, like that weird wart that fell off but has now grown back.
Anyway you think you got it bad what about us "darn sarf", 5 weeks without as much as a moist fart from a gnat then kids school holidays start and the sky tries to throw lightening bolts at you if you venture across your threshold.
I think Thor has shares in Netflix! Bah!!
Like tiny moist cauliflowers.
ReplyDeleteHoly hell. :-)
Pearl
Oh hell. I hope you don't have Miley Cyrus's new look stuck in your head. I don't know how you go from Disney to Video Slut in 2.5. Or maybe that was a silly thing to say. Of course...Disney breeds those people...Britney Spears...blah blah. Oh, I am such an evil bitch today. I need some chocolate cake!
ReplyDeleteI've spent today spending money and then spending a few hours giving-birth-style-breathing in a killmeplease position on our couch and then riding a car with a bucket in my lap in case I puke from cramps and then we looked at a house. I had to keep the car keys in case I'd have to throw up. Ya know, don't throw up in stranger's pools and all those other weird social rules in the normal, 2013 society. Gosh. Restraints!
ReplyDeleteMMM, MONDAY!
Never mind tepid drizzle, Joebloggs, and try tepid full scale vertical sharp rain! How this can fall and still be warm and sticky out is beyond me. Ugh. Stop complaining about your awesome weather.
ReplyDeletePearl: Mmmm...well maybe if you were very full of wine you could see it... :)
Momma: Hahaha, no just the song. From whence it came I have no idea. But there it is. But never mind all that. CHOCOLATE CAKE YOU SAY!?
Ellet: Dude...OUCH! That was me the other day. Doubled up, back in agony, all cranky. :) Only you have it worse, I concede. FEEL BETTTER. Evil monthly monster.
ReplyDeleteHah, have you seen the SNL version of Miley that Vanessa Bayer does? :) That would probably cure you of the song.
ReplyDeleteBonus points for using 'git' correctly in a sentence.
Here in the Pacific NW we often get those days where it's hot and rainy. You can not wear a jacket and get rained on or you can wear a jacket but sweat like crazy. Either way you're going to end up wet and uncomfortable.
ReplyDeleteI would like to say that I read every word of this post and laughed loud and long, but I got to cleavage and kind of passed out at that.
ReplyDeleteI am 12.
Christian: Yup, that sounds exactly right to me. Sweat or rain. At least rain's sort of clean I guess :)
ReplyDeleteSkypop: We're all a little bit twelve I think. I laugh at butt cleavage because that's just a funny expression. Would you prefer "Breasty Valley"? Ew. No.
I am experiencing a recurring verse of supercalifragilisticexpialidocious - but then I am demented... Try starting the week on a Sunday, that's wrongerer (joining your new word trend) than Mondays.
ReplyDeleteWhen I went to the Winchester Mystery House in San Jose, the tour guide was the spitting image of Miley Cyrus. Like identical, even the way she spoke. (I asked her why I couldn't take pictures in there and she said in a gruff Hannah Montana bark, "Uhh, 'cuz then the Mystery House wouldn't have any more mystery and stuff." Touche, Achy Breaky Heart spawn.) After that, I had a dreadful, unwelcome Miley song running rampant in my head for days too.
ReplyDeleteGrrr.
Sometime try the desert in winter. The weather is very pleasant and your cleavage will remain at it's optimum operating temperature...
ReplyDeleteCora: Hahaha a Miley lookalike would add to the Winchester mystery I guess! Maybe she's grouchy cos people keep asking if she's Miley. :)
ReplyDeletePat: Hahahaha, well there's a qualification right there I think!
Have you gone off the radar again Missy?
ReplyDeleteHaha nope, just a long couple of busy weeks that turned me into a mumbling buffoon. Early nights and a back ache, no online activity. This week should be more normal though. Expect inane rambling. :-)
ReplyDelete