Wednesday, July 24th, 2013 - Alive And Kicking
There are times when you are actually blindsided by things you didn't expect. Like getting all enthused and excited about recommencing blogging with gusto; with boring everyone senseless with stupid swear words and thoughts no one cared about to begin with; with your latest works of art or embarrassing stories - only to find out that your fingers have no idea what to do to make the words come out, the second you sit down at the keyboard. And you ask yourself, "Jesus eff Christ, Veg, has it really been that long, you cretin?" And the answer is always "Yes. Yes it has."
But here I am typing nonsense anyway, and I have no idea what, because I have no plan I'm just seeing what happens when I make my fingers dance. So you know, be prepared for some yawning.
Did you know we've had a heatwave for the past three weeks? Because we have! Seriously, don't pass out cold. No rain till yesterday and even then I was chill about it. "You go ahead and rain, dude." Today the nice weather is back. It's like a beautiful dream.
Of course a heatwave here really means "Meh, it's a lot nicer than usual". The hottest day we had was about 29 degrees (about 85 degrees F) so you can see, this is just a normal warm day anywhere else on Earth. For us, however, it's a goddamn, world-melting, lavafest where everyone sweats and complains a lot about the sweating, the lack of air conditioning, the store being out of ice pops, how your butt cheeks feel slippery (really) and all the news can talk about is HOW HOT IT IS. Because even though we've cursed the rain every single day for a year, we don't really know what to complain about without it.
Except, then the royals had the audacity to interrupt this good cheer by birthing a future king to steal attention away from our heatwave. Me, me, me, thanks a lot royals. I'm not sure I care about royal stuff but hell, good luck to them and their new royal child, who I don't mean to be mean but, I hope looks like his mom. It's just that in the boy side of that family they seem to give birth to adorably blonde, tousled, cute little imps, who age into frightening gargoyles with no hair.
In further proof of just how darn awesome I am, in a work poll this week I correctly forecast two of his names and my colleague nailed the third. We rule!
I was still hoping for "Joffrey" though...
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So. People have nudged me about my total ineptness at updating this thing and they are correct. It's just, I don't have a life reall...
Seriously? How awesome would "Joffrey" had been? The world would have be fearing his rise to the throne from day 1.
ReplyDeleteGood to see you back, Veggie.
Ye gods! The Veg is back???
ReplyDeleteBut now resident in Scotland? I must have missed something, somewhere... being somewhat a part timer in Blogland these days!
ah let's talk about the weather. No, that becomes a common recursive complaining syndrome most everywhere. But our whole air conditioning system did need to be replaced this summer. Our Chicago paper had a write-up about royal baby haters. Really who could hate a baby? I think, and agree, we just hate the media.
ReplyDeleteWhere the hell have you been? I mean besides Scotland. Unless they don't have internets, or wifi, or computers. In which case, the absence makes sense. Also, the bald-gargoyles made me snicker.
ReplyDeleteSo the royal child doesn't look like Churchill?
ReplyDeleteProbably for the best. Hey welcome back (as if I should be Mr. Credibilty on that topic...)
It's about time you came back... Maybe the heat has woken your blogging brain again. My Granny has messaged daily to say, 'argh hen, it's hot and the shops are still oot o' fans'. I'm sure they'll be restocked by the time the snow returns! Welcome back :)
ReplyDeleteHey miss TILTE! I've been here. Busy. Lazy. In a rut. Offline. But here I am refreshed. Sort of. As refreshed as I get I guess. How are you? I'm glad you commented as now I can add you back to my reader list and have reclaimed ONE of my lost subs. Jeez.
ReplyDeleteTex: He might! I haven't seen him yet. And thank you. I noticed you'd been absent a bit although not as big a bit as me. I guess I win again. :)
Vinny: I'd have celebrated for a week if Joffrey was the name. I mean a boy king? COME ON? It's a no brainer! :) Of course he'd grow up to be a dangerous, bratty psychopath but still. We'd be entertained, no?
ReplyDeleteNat: Yeah, I've been back a while now lady! See I'm full of surprises! How are YOU? I need to get back online damn it.
Lisle: Well even I agree the tiny baby children are helpless and I bear them no ill will. Then they get older and well. I like other people to deal with that. I'm much too horrified. :)
Welcome back! Congrats on the future king name guessing. But aren't there really only about 3 or 4 King names they could have chosen from? There's George, Henry, Edward, Richard, maybe a couple others. They really should have gone with something more groundbreaking like Dusty or something.
ReplyDelete:) Joffrey is so much cooler than George!
ReplyDeleteGood to have you back, VeggieK :)
Well strike my previous comment and lemme say that we have identical weathers! Also, in this part of the world, heatwaves means NO SLEEPING UNTIL IT'S OVER AND THAT MAKES ME LONG FOR FALL DANGIT. I don't even wanna go upstairs because it's so hot up there. Not a breeze either so those open windows does jack shit, really.
ReplyDeleteWhen in doubt about what to post. Post a rant like this one! You are one of the best at it.
ReplyDeleteI kept hoping they'd tell tradition where to stick it by naming the kid something ghastly, like Jayden or Orlando. But, nope. We got George. Disappointing. Now, all I can do is imagine him growing up to be George Costanza from Seinfeld.
ReplyDeleteCora: Oddly enough, I joked to someone at work that they should call him "Jaden" as that would be HILARIOUS. The Welfare King. :)
ReplyDelete