I’ve been all frustrated the past few days. Seriously, it’s like some demon entered my body through one of my unguarded holes, messed around with a whole lot of shit regarding my motivation to do…well pretty much anything really, and left me in this obnoxious mood. Ok, so not a whole big difference there I guess, you can say it. Such a lot of crap has happened lately, personally, that I've just had to turn my life around and make some pretty big decisions and it's all been a little depressing. But I'll live! But more on that another time.
I can’t even find my painting mojo and I almost never lose that. I even have a spunky new easel made of beautiful woody wood (I have no idea what kind of wood it is, shut up) and it’s all sturdy and new and paint-free and just about as sexy as hell compared to my old one which resembled a really drunk giraffe covered in old paint and that used to creak and fall over if you so much as touched it with a paint brush because it was made of balsa wood or some such cheap crap. The easel not the giraffe.
The new one is so lovely I want to stroke it all day, naked and purring. Also the easel. Although if there's a giraffe in the vicinity, we'll talk.
Anyway, here I am with a new easel and some fresh, blank canvases and everyone must know by now that blank canvases make me delirious with joy in the same way most ladies get gleeful over shoes, yet I can’t find the motivation to paint a damn thing. Well except anything that involves hurling paint willy-nilly at a canvas and winding up with something that looks like it was painted by Jackson Pollock while high.
I’m also halfway through about three paintings that really need to be completed, two of which are Airstreams and promised to various people, who’ll kick my ass if I don’t get on that soon.
So yes. Motivation is on the fritz. As is my Google Reader which seems to have given up the will to live by not deleting entries I’ve already read, leaving me to wade through three million others that I have read to get to the others. And I can’t seem to figure out how to rectify this, because I’m clearly a moron. In the end I had a tantrum and just marked them all as read while cursing, so I missed a whole bunch of you guys’ stuff from the past few days.
Stupid Reader. Stupid Google. Stupid mojo. Stupid me for not having a cocktail handy.
Stupid entry.
Oh, I don't know, I kinda like the Jackson Pollack while high ones. I could never come up with anything close to that good.
ReplyDeleteOh and this: "I want to stroke it all day, naked and purring..." I am thinking of making that the tag to a new blog. An intellectual one of course. You cool with that?
I would like to give it to you.
ReplyDeleteBecause it's not at all dirty.
Neither is that first sentence.
I seriously left work and while that should make me happy, I was suddenly in a fury. Everyone was in my way traffic wise and Target wise. Why does that happen? Perhaps you could gently turn the painting around?
ReplyDeleteDon't be silly, Jules! Don't come around here making your sensible suggestions. No wonder the entire town is following you to Target.
ReplyDeleteTake a breather. Do something totally different--then maybe your mojo will come back!
ReplyDeleteThat's why I've been picking my nose for two hours now and writing stuff about each of the 50 states for later posts. You think I'm kidding but I'm not. Well, maybe about the nose picking thing. Who has two hours worth of boogers? No one. Not even Adrien Brody and his conk's enormous.
ReplyDeletei think the paintings are good regardless of mojo. perhaps you had it all along? (cue sententious music)
ReplyDeleteI don't knows art, but I knows what I likes. I likes yours.
ReplyDeleteCreative blocks happen. For me, when I'm slamming my head against my inner brick wall, it's usually because of some other problem that I'm refusing to deal with. Possibility?
Oh, and get rid of that creepy picture for starts. John Locke does want us all dead, I don't care if the finale implied otherwise.
Maybe Baxter stole it.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, I'm sure he'll return it as soon as he takes of the lid a gets a whiff.
It's almost 7pm here and I am trying not to panic because I don't have anything to write about tomorrow morning. My inner child has locked herself in the bathroom and won't come out. And now there is water creeping out from underneath the door. It's not good. I can assure you your MOJO ain't here, because if it was I'd be steeling it and using it up for all it's worth. Hope it comes back soon. (You are still groovy to me.)- G
ReplyDeleteFor paint hurling those are not too bad. But do get on with real painting will you? I can't stand modern abstract.
ReplyDeleteIt will come back, and when it does we should all strap in for a hell of a ride.
ReplyDeleteI like the Jackson Pollock while high stuff. Carry on hurling!
ReplyDeleteHave a nice day, Boonsong
Pee: Ha! Well I did those just to look pretty really so I can print them as cards in some form or other. But they're strangely satisfying to do.
ReplyDeleteSenor Pirate: Oh yeah, it usually just takes a short vacation then comes back with 100 ideas all at once. In fact, I have the ideas just not the inclination to paint them. Soon I'll be a painting machine. :)
Ed: He might have, you know. The stinkier it is, the better it is. Don't you know anything? P.S. Except FARTS.
Georgina: Oh no! I hate that. I've had weeks of nothing to write lately, it's best just to let it be till something hits you in the face to write about. Not that I take my own advice ever. :)
Sarah: You impatient wench. I forgot for a moment that everything I paint is just for YOU madame. :)
Skypapa: Yes. Yes you better. It's going to shake you up and take you for a hellride at the speed of light. Um. Maybe the speed of an ice cream truck. Compromise.
And thank you Mr. Boonsong, now I feel justified in the paint hurling. :) Not that I require an excuse!
ReplyDeleteThat Locke painting is bad ass! You should paint me something :) I guarantee that it would completely restore your confidence, and leave you feeling sassy and restored, like when you press your nether regions to the airjet in the pool. (Maybe that's just me who does that though...)
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to picture a spunky easel.
ReplyDeleteHere it comes . . .
Ew!
For someone with no mojo, you appear more inspired than many. Even if I still can't get Jackson Pollok (which still sounds like a suburb of Glasgow to me).
ReplyDeleteWe all go through the missing mojo thing at some point or another. Sometimes it is just because a huge burst of creative genius needs time to percolate... It seems my mojo has been jacked up as well and maybe because of the disproportionate number of cockadoodledoo sightings of late. I'm thinking it's some sort of strange planetary alignment. So I totally get the whole giraffe easel stroking thing! ...Your paintings are brilliant by the way!
ReplyDeletehttp://rantersbox.blogspot.com
Don't push yourself too hard Veggie-K. There must be a thing called 'Painter's Block' you know?
ReplyDeleteYour art can't be rushed, maybe it's part of your process? I always take too long to plan things out before the first lines or colors are out there.
ReplyDeleteGah, Pollock...
Your second paragraph seems vaguely suggestive, um, not because of giraffe references.
Anyhow, I agree, new art supplies are great. Do you ever use a mahl stick or are your strokes ultra steady?
That Mojo is such a bitch. Mine has been missing lately too. Maybe the two are sunning themselves somewhere, sipping margaritas and laughing at the douches they left behind.
ReplyDeleteWell either that or they've gone the way of all the missing socks. I'll give you a 'hoy' if I happen to get a postcard from mine. Bitches have to come back sometime, especially once their cash runs out.
I'll take a John Locke looking out of an Airstream floating through a bunch of paint dots.
ReplyDeleteThanks in advance.
I think you should pain abstract vaginas that are totally "supposed" to be flowers. Then maybe stick those boogers you've been picking all over them.
ReplyDeleteOr...
ZUMBA! That'll get the anger out, yeah?
You are fabulous!! If those were your paintings sans Mojo... well, I can't even imagine what you could do WITH your mojo. I think they are beautiful...
ReplyDeleteWell obviously you can't retain the mojo nonstop!
ReplyDeleteA salesman that works for me is fricking incredible but once every year and half or so, his performance will suck and then he'll just crash and disappear for 3 or 4 months and lay on his couch drinking all day.
Then of course he regains his motivation and comes back swinging.
You'll be fine, veggie. Drink more coke zero.
All artists are frustrated, don't you think? I've yet to meet a contented artist!
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's time to enter your Dissatisfied Period...
Pearl
I'm just so relieved to know that I'm not the only one who picks my nose when I think of naked giraffes. You really can find ANYONE on the internet.
ReplyDeleteHere's the thing, when the uke comes, you'll be perfectly fine with taking a painting break. I haven't picked up a brush in what seems like months. But I just learned how to play "Carry On My Wayward Son" by Kansas. That's way better than another portrait, right? RIGHT?!?
Now is the time. Buy the sodding ukulele!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, perfect to have to hand in between firing darts and lashing paint about.
Oh, and am giving some chocolate some serious thought... :)
Sorry you're not feeling it, but the mojo will pop back up out of nowhere; you're writing style is great, I find it very funny, entertaining!...Your blog is really refreshing, in my opinion...Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteSteve: Thanks for sharing, dude. I thought only vagina-laden people did that pool jet thing but it's nice to see boys are creative too. :) Mr. Locke says thank you and that he's totally watching you, so stop doing that thing you do. Probably with the pool jet!
ReplyDeleteThe Jules: I guess that was inevitable. Now go get a cloth and some Ajax.
Ajax? Is this 1985?
Madame: Hahaha, yes it does. Pollok, Pollokshields, Pollokshaws and Jackson Pollock - all in Glasgow. :) Explains the anarchic paint style I suppose really.
Ms. Ranters: I think you may be right, the planets are to blame for everything. I think during these times we must just sit back and drink margaritas and allow ourselves to be bums. And maybe stroke a giraffe easel or two. And thank you! :)
Reenie: Pah, painter's block. I actually ended up doing some work on an unfinished painting last night but I had to force it as I wasn't all that inclined. I think a break will do it good then I'll be an unstoppable painting machine again.
Eric: You know, I've never used a Mahl Stick although sometimes it would be handy. I just wind up covered in paint on both hands and arms. :) Plus I use acrylics and they dry so fast it's not really necessary I find.
ReplyDeleteRusty: Yeah, those bitches, sitting on the beach being drunk and lecherous without us! Shame on those mojos. Hey maybe they're drinking mojitos? Mojo Mojitos! Wouldn' that be a cool name for some novel character? Mojo Mojito! OK, no.
Moooooog: Now that sounds like a FINE painting. Have you seen some of the "LOST" art out there? Someone might actually have done it. I mean I saw one of Hurly playing a ukulele and drinking cocktails so why not?
Ms. OWO: Hahaha, I've seen some of those abstract vagina flowers. I could then stick on the boogers and say pretentious things about them like, "Yes, the boogers represent my statement that vaginas are often in a state of turmoil and flux!" and slap people who suggest they represent STDs.
~KS: I am going to pay you to be my pimp. You do take cheese slices as payment, right? But thank you! :)
Mr. C: That's it. I need to lay on the couch and drink all day until it returns. I'll let you tell everyone in my life that's the reason I'm not doing anything for the next four months. I'll be over there, drinking Coke Zero. With vodka in it! :)
Pearl: Maybe it's time to have my "lost weekend" period? I hear that helps. :) Nah, actually I feel I might paint this evening. I have an idea. We'll see if it lasts!
ReplyDeleteElly: Yes the cure for loss of painting mojo is finding a uke mojo. My mojuke! I have my mojuke but no uke yet. Between you and Judearoo the uke urge has been huge. Although Kansas? Dude? Really? Put down the doobie. At least you haven't learned any Rod Stewart... Yet.
Jude: Hahaha, I know. You and Elly are the uke champions. And mmmm chocolate. I'm trying my best not to think about chocolate. But you know, for YOU I will.
Jacqueline: Thank you! Once you stop being drunk you'll see sense, but for now, keep it up. :) I am hanging in. Oh yes....
Maybe it's just because I can't draw a decent friggin' circle, but those things look pretty darn good to me.
ReplyDeletethe airstreams are amazing!
you should save that old easel. It'll be worth a ton wihen you are famous...Or not, you can throw it away then...
I can't imagine you in an obnoxious mood. I sort of picture you waltzing through flowers while singing little ditties about how pretty the flowers are, all the while liberally sprinkling joy dust around you and...
ReplyDeleteYeah, right.
The last time I got a giraffe drunk he accidentally hung himself on some Christmas lights. As a rule I make sure my giraffe friends are always 'designated drivers'.
Pat: Haha, can you imagine, no one ever buys a painting but someone offers to buy the easel? :) That would be sad. But thank you!
ReplyDeleteMo: Oh ha ha! :) Although you might be accurate. I'm more a sarcastic little sprite swearing at people while farting. But you were close.
I'm glad to hear there is another woman out there who is not into shoes. I'm not and am not into purses.
ReplyDeleteAbout your mojo -- well, it's August and maybe your mojo is from France or Germany and on holiday.
The John Locke painting scenario would creep me out. I only have a picture of the Lorax, a stuffed Beaker and Godzilla checking me out on my desk. They are friendly and don't have me thinking deep thoughts so I'm safe.
About the google reader, well, I've been a horrible blogger in all sense of the word.
Thing is Ms. Dude, I like shoes AND bags! I don't buy shoes much though anymore, or bags for that matter and given some extra money I'd rather have the bag than the shoes. But I prefer the painting supplies EVEN more so that always wins. :)
ReplyDeleteSo that was you flitting through the crowd hurling abuse at whatever and whoever came within a few feet of you? Good job I have a duck's back.
ReplyDeleteI don't know man. Did it smell like tequila and desperation? In which case, yep, that was me!
ReplyDeleteNo voodoo dolls, m'dear.
ReplyDeleteI cannot wait for him to stare at me all the time!
I can't wait for that either, dude. Rather you than me. :)
ReplyDeleteMay your mojo return with swift and speedy speed. I don't know what type of speed that is. I love your John Locke. But I'm pretty sure he would creep the hell outta me too.
ReplyDeleteVeg, I love those abstacts! And I have a strong preference for the representational. But those are done NICE and done RIGHT.
ReplyDelete