Monday, July 12th, 2010, One in the ay-em, which technically makes it Tuesday, but as I am not yet asleep, it's still Monday. Officially.
Hi! I've had margaritas! Home made margaritas and not very authentic ones at that, but successfully using up the spare tequila I had lying around just calling my name. I mean I'd hate it to go bad or something, sitting there on top of the fridge all forlorn. And really, can you think of a better way to end a warm, summer weeknight? No. Me neither.
However, I couldn't find a store bought mix (ok, I forgot to go look, sue me) so rather than give up, I made them with frozen lime soda. Yes, I know, it IS classy! I think I may just have invented actual white trash margaritas. You can thank me later. They still tasted pretty good, despite the lack of fresh fruit or indeed any margarita ingredient except tequila. Let's face it that's the most important one, right? Let's not kid ourselves. Screw formality.
Don't tell anyone but I am rather toasted, I freely admit it. My toes feel like they're possibly in a separate continent from my feet and I've already corrected about 67 typos in this entry alone. Hola!
To complement those fine, high class drinks, I played some mariachi music I found on YouTube (it seemed appropriate somehow...) and threw some paint around on a little canvas I had repurposed in the hope of painting a design I could photograph, print and use to make those cute little blank greeting cards you pay a fortune for in stores.
I'm kidding. I'm very reasonable. And bribable.
I can already tell you're thrilled. That's what all that yawning means, right?
See I think drinking margaritas should be compulsory for blogging, especially white trash margaritas (though I believe the white trashness was cancelled out by the mariachi music, pure genius). And if that's wrong then I don't wanna be right.
ReplyDeleteBesides, who doesn't like it when Summer throws up on a card? Unsophisticated douches who need to unpucker their sphincters, that's who.
I live vicariously through you. I wish I had the guts to get drunk.
ReplyDeleteNext time you're drinking, or hell, even when you're sober, watch this youtube clip. Totally worth it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-v5EL5T2vU
Some of my best essays in English were written while tipsy. I'm not sure how that worked, but I'm glad it did.
ReplyDeleteNot only can you still write a coherent sentence when drunk, you can paint too! Am very impressed, the best I can manage is to not drool too much.
ReplyDeleteI love the bright summer colours. so where do I find this webshop of yours then? am I just being dumb not being able to see it?
Hope the head is okay today.
Hola! Love the white trash marguerita and the white trash greetings card. Maybe blogging drunk isn't such a bad idea?
ReplyDeleteCan't believe you started without me! That's it! The Champagne is going back in the cellar!..... Oh wait, I'll just have a little tasty-poos of the 30 litres first... rude not to.....
ReplyDelete....who says drinking alone is bad?..... hic!
That's what happens when you throw paint around?
ReplyDeleteWhen I throw paint around it looks completely different.
We may be talking about two different things.
Dude, if you paint like that after drinking tequila - drink more. I hate you and the talent that drips out of you!
ReplyDeleteHurray for drunk painting!
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, I write hilariously when I'm intoxicated...or maybe that it's I have hilarious things to write about about becoming inebriated. Regardless, the theory proves true for you as well. Hilarious post and EXCELLENT summer art. Love both!
ReplyDeleteViva tequila!
ReplyDelete:)
Soda? In Margaritas? As a member of the Formal Margarita Society and Country Club(tm), I have to say 'tsk'.
Damn! I can't believe you can paint like that while wasted! You are one awesome talent!
ReplyDeleteOoooh. I love your drunken flowers! They should be sheets. Or little girls' pajamas. My white trash drink? Dump half the frozen limeade mix in a pitcher, and top it off with a couple large white trash cans of cheap beer. (PBRs work excellently.) I've heard tales of dumping in some shots of ta-kill-ya for a "beer marg," but I like it just fine as limey beer. Hope you're sleeping it off. PS - love that you won't let your alcohol be forlorn.
ReplyDeleteHey you should drink more. Those are some great artwork! I have a little lime tree that I'm not sure what to do with all those little green limes are now coming out. Thanks for the inspiration!
ReplyDeleteRusty: I'd like that compulsory margaritas rule. I think they breed creativity and um...other good stuff.
ReplyDeleteAmanda: Haha, that clip is hilarious. The MJ guy looks sort of like a mincingly gay man having a seizure. It's spazzing out at it's best. :)
Inky: Well I'm happy it works for you! I can only imagine the crap I'd write for an actual paper after a few fruity beverages!
Heather: Well to be fair, I wasn't all that coherent really. And I had to correct every other word. :) But I will pretend and say "Oh yeah, i'm insanely talented you know!" And the store's not live yet so you're not insane. Well not in that way.
TNMA: Yes, the margs weren't bad. Not great, I should add, but not bad. No substitute for the real thing. Plus they froze a bit too solidly and I had to "drink" them with a spoon. Shhhhh!
Lou: I was merely conducting a test! So you know what you're getting. Really! Mmmm elderflower champagne...
Moooooog: Well it's one of the things. I'm not sure I even WANT to know what YOU are talking about. :)
Jules 1:0: No talent drips out of me, ladyfriend. Tequila. That drips out of me. But I'll take it anyway, to feed my ego.
Miss Y: Yeah! It's much more fun that way too.. Much!
Jules 2.0: Thing is, everything seems more hilarious when intoxicated, then next day you're all, no. No I did not. And it's way less hilarious then.
Eric: I know, I know. I did say it was a philistine version. But it did the trick. It was refreshing in an icy sort of way.
Eva: Well to be fair there was a lot of throwing paint and giggling and it just sort of happened. And then I painted on flowers. A chimp could've done it.
Little Girl: Haha, yeah they'd be great pajamas. You could totally spill stuff on them and no one would even know! :) As for limey beer, do you remember Tequiza? That was beer with a hint of tequila and lime. It was horrendous in a fascinating way.
Sarah: I'd love a lime tree. I could do some damage (to my liver) if I had one of those. Those would REQUIRE margaritas! :)
Not white trash, my friend, just sensibly thrifty! I christen them Recession Margaritas!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I would definitely buy greeting cards with the blue design, as long as they didn't have some godawful hokey poem inside.
Soda: Oh Jesus no. Blank is the way to go. No hokeyness here! Shame on you. :) And I love the term Recession Margaritas. I am stealing and adopting it. Thanks man!
ReplyDeleteI have my very own version of Poor Girl Margaritas, it's even a "bottom shelf" version of a top shelf margarita! Cheap tequila OR even cheaper tequila liqueur (comes in both gold and silver), plus cheap rotgut brandy (to substitute for Grand Marnier), plus marg mix, plus key lime flavoured sparkling water from Walmart -- serve over lots of ice and just to class it up, include a paper umbrella! Curse these wretched random cravings!
ReplyDeleteHmmm yum! I say you can't really go wrong with that. Plus cheap tequila is essential for margaritas. You wouldn't waste good stuff on a mix drink right? I'm still a fan of those bucket margarita mixes that you get for five bucks at Target or Walmart. They taste pretty damn good when you've frozen them up. The South of the Border one is my fave. That's good times in a bucket! :)
ReplyDeleteWhen I'm drunk I can barely write my name. You can blog AND make art? You should drink more...
ReplyDeleteI've never drunk blogged. I have drunk facebooked a few times...talk about regretting something in the morning.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I suppose it is better than my friend who drunk dials her father. I will not let myself think about that too much...
I am so very jealous of you! When you drink Tequila, talent pores out of you. When I drink Tequila, it is more a mixture of vomit and karaoke.
ReplyDeleteLibby: Well I was more MERRY than flat out drunk. I mean I had my faculties. I was just....in the spirit of things, let's say. :)
ReplyDeleteBrutalism: Very wise. I've never drunk dialed. I have trouble making calls sober. I'm not a phone person at all. I hate phones. So people are safe from my phone drunkeness. Email however. Yikes.
Skypop: Haha well if I drink ENOUGH of it that comes out of me too, I imagine. It's been a long time since I've gotten that sloshed. I'm pretty responsible. I get tipsy and happy and do stuff then fall asleep usually with one shoe on.
I'm glad you didn't delete this post. It is class.
ReplyDelete(Not to be confused with "classy". White trash margaritas are probably not "classy". Although they DO sound potentially lethal!)
Damn ye Veg! You're better at painting and photoshopping and SPELLING than I am sober.
ReplyDeleteP: Not classy but I ask you this. What does classy matter when they're a) lethal, and b) tasty? Nothing! :)
ReplyDeleteMacy: I have a multi faceted brain you know. It allows me to function on autopilot. :)
HA! If I didn't blog drunk, when would I blog?!
ReplyDeletePearl
Now see, there's an attitude I can get behind. :)
ReplyDeleteI love deeerunky, Veg!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd those paintings are sooooo awesome!!! I'm seriously going to buy the shit outta them when they're cards. The SHIT outta them. They will have no poop left, none.
No for realsies, I want. Make the cards now!!! :)
Bahaha! All our poop belongs to YOU? Well! I really hope to print them up and sell them. Maybe even some postcards or something. I'm sure you'll be hearing about them. :)
ReplyDeleteThese are gorgeous! I want to decorate my entire apartment in your paintings. That'd be okay, right?
ReplyDeleteAND, I made a pitcher of sangria and I've been having a glass (or two) every night this week. That's what summer's all about!
I love the gold version! Print them up and sell them! I would totally buy those from my favorite local stationer!
ReplyDeletePapervision. 1345 Pacific Ave, Santa Cruz, CA.
Red: Sounds wonderful to me! If I could drink red wine without turning beet red and getting a headache, I'd try that myself. Yum!
ReplyDeleteDog: Oh I see. I am to harass them till they stock my cards? :) I better get my gangster head on. Haha!
Blogger was invented for drunk blogging. It is definitely the way to go. I reckon I'll be hitting those white trash margaritas later and hovering dangerously over that 'publish post' button. Yep, you ARE a bad influence round face ;0)
ReplyDeleteWatch it, Sir. :) I mean madame. (but try the Recession Margaritas, they will knock you out in minutes.)
ReplyDeleteIf I didn't post drunk, I'd never get to post at all.
ReplyDeleteA Scots person that likes a drink, wow that is rare, oh wait I forgot everyone Scottish but me drinks.
ReplyDeleteObviously Scottish+ alcohol = great combo just look at you and your painting, Charles Kennedy and his um politicianing and not to forget Santa claus and all his good stuff he does.
You are delightfully coherent for a "drunk" person. The margaritas sound yummy. Not that that your drink actually classifies as a margarita. But hey, lime and tequila? That's alright too. Inventiveness IS classy. Now we need a name for your drink. How about "The Sassy Typer"?
ReplyDeleteDon't worry; I'm not even drunk and I couldn't even find these typos you speak of.
Hee hee hee. Y'know, I WAS thinking it looked like Summer barfed on that card! The blue one is splendiferous.
ReplyDeleteWendy: That explains EVERYTHING! :)
ReplyDeleteDreich: Wait a goddamn second...SANTA CLAUS? WAS SCOTTISH? And you think I'm the one who drinks? Dude...
Loveable H: Haha, well I did correct those typos. If you saw the original draft well....it wasn't pretty. At all. Maybe I should leave those in next time so you all can see how UNTALENTED I actually am.
Cora: Yay, the blue is my fave too! Welcome back married lady! My card is in the mail as of yesterday (no one said I was ever ON TIME!) I hope life is treating you well?
I was up at a friend's cottage last weekend, where I made a mojito with some Sailor Jerry, a stick of Wrigley's Doublemint gum and a can of 7UP.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Great paintings!:)
Ha! SO now we have a Recession Mojito too. Awesomeness. Although I'm slightly scared of your drink.
ReplyDeletemmmmm, sodarita.
ReplyDeleteGorgeous paintings and the margaritas whether trash or not sound delicious.
ReplyDeleteIn fact I am making one right now in a coffee travel mug for my 30 minute drive to work. Thanks for the tip!
Haha, now now. You drive CAREFULLY. Save the marg for AT work where it might do you some good. :)
ReplyDeleteI like you better when you're drunk.
ReplyDeleteAnd passed out.
You just don't know it.
Yeah. Well. Your mom knows it.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what that means.
If I blog in the morning I am stone cold sober. If I blog most any other time, I am most likely to be somewhat impaired.
ReplyDeleteJudging by what I just read, should feel free to do it whenever you want...
You know Pat, I always like to have encouragement. :)
ReplyDeleteI always enjoy being the 50th comment for maximum impact. I LOVE that blue card. I think I do my best creative work when I'm tipsy too, but I kinda wish it weren't true.
ReplyDeleteHaha, you like to be a milestone, what's wrong with that? And I know, what's up with the creativity while intoxicated? No wonder people become alcoholics.
ReplyDeleteLMFAO!!! You always crack me up :)
ReplyDeleteI would have to say that my cockles are successfully cooled :)
I like the first one though. That is awesome!
Viva Tequila!!!!
You're cracking me up! This is my first visit over here and I have to say, I'm loving your blog! I had an Ambien post last night that my friends said I'd regret after I reread... yeah, not so much. I laughed, too.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, next time, try the Simply Limeaid for your margarita... it works really well! Viva tequila!
Cass: Put down the crack pipe, Cassie. I've told you before.
ReplyDeleteMs. Salti: Firstly, you have the best name ever. EVER. Secondly, I did almost use frozen limeade (that Minutemaid thingie) but was too lazy to wait for it to do it's thawy thing before adding the tequila and refreezing. Who has time? Of course I waited 24 hours to freeze the soda so that makes no sense. AND I used to take Ambien due to my serial insomnia and believe me I know that stuff and its quirks. I kind of loved it. Except the time it gave me a vivid dream about Lindsay Lohan, where I was not at all impressed. OK I need to find your post now. I need Ambien stories. And a reputable dealer. :) Simply Limeade: Noted.
Hahaha. The white trash margarita. Indeed, I thank you.
ReplyDeleteAnd I quite like the summer throw up cards. Very nice.
Well thank you. Sometimes a girl just wants to hurl paint around with gay abandon. But the results can occasionally be pleasing. :) As are the margaritas. YUM.
ReplyDelete