Try your utmost not to pass out cold and hit your head on a rock! It’s me. Yes really! I am here. Instead of playing hooky in a disused railway tunnel full of tequila, or something equally salubrious. I am returned from the wilds of the blogosphere to annoy you once more with my whining and procrastinating.
A few things: a) My highland vacation was AWESOME. Who wouldn’t want to spend time with people they like, eating picnics and drinking pear cider, here:
and here:
And looking at scenery like this:
Especially the hair, man. Good God.
So I will be back very shortly. This isn’t it. This is just an announcement to make me feel important. I will be back properly later. This week. Ish. Okay?
Okay then.
P.S. There is no "b)”
Jealous.
ReplyDeleteNeed more pics.
You really don't. But you might get them anyway. :) HA! Now, what have I missed?
ReplyDeleteThere's no bj? You want me to come back and there's no bj? Pssh.
ReplyDeleteDamn you, woman. You know, I went and put quotation marks around that b) because I too thought "Shit, that looks like BJ" :) And OH. Elly spots it right away. SULK.
ReplyDelete"salubrious" thanks will I be healthier by using that word?
ReplyDeleteI haven't been vacationing this year so I have mixed feelings about your pics. But thinking you might have puked on the twisting roads does give an certain appreciation for not being there.
Lisle: You'll be healthier by NOT making fun of ME, fucker. :) Salubrious, in fact. Motion sickness is no laughing matter you know. Goddamn, I have the vertigo leanings of someone with an inner ear infection only ALL the time.
ReplyDeleteWell you're welcome to FEEL important because you ARE (I almost wrote arse, freudian slip?) important. At least to me and my RSS reader.
ReplyDeleteNow reast that ass up and start blogging more! Nice pics, btw.
Thank you, my fancy friend with good taste! :) I hope you are well? GOOD!!! I will catch up soon.
ReplyDeletewow! That is a really beautiful area! Glad you're relaxing; hope you won't be quite as crabby when you get back! lol
ReplyDeleteME CRABBY!?!?! Of course I'll be crabby? Is it Christmas? Pfft! Woman, really.
ReplyDeleteEgad but I love your vocabulary.
ReplyDeleteSo you had a good time, is that it? Back to tell us about your adventures? Well WELCOME BACK AND DON'T EVER GO AWAY AGAIN!!@!!
yEAh, didn't mean to hit enter, did I? OK -- so glad you're back.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes -- really, I think we WOULD like to see more pictures. Especially of that pear cider. YUM. Fox Barrel??
Pearl
A little tequila in or out of a cave is always a good thing. Enjoy yourself! The photos are great (more of them would be even greater).
ReplyDeleteI'm not pointing any fingers here, Pearl, but I'm thinking it's entirely possible that SOMEONE in Minnesota might have been hitting that very same cider, even this early on a Wednesday. :) I was drinking the ONLY pear cider worth drinking - the Swedish goodness that is Kopparberg. No other pear cider can match it. I'm sorry, it's just how it is.
ReplyDeletePat: Ha! Well you just know I'm going to post a few more at some point, but I don't like to bore a person with my photos TOO much...
ReplyDeleteWhere is that?? Heaven?
ReplyDeleteI need my billion dollar Chippendales husband to book me a trip there right now.
Why don't you tell me exactly where you THINK that is, and I'll tell you exactly how far off the mark you are. :) I'll pray for your finding of the chippendale husband though. Hahaha, pray. Me. Hahaha!
ReplyDeleteAh, you had me at pear cider! The teaser trip photos look rather divine. Can't wait to hear about the adventure, even if it didn't involve railway tunnels and cheap booze. ...I must admit that I too thought "BJ" when reading your post script.
ReplyDeleteWelcome back.... insanely jealous of your vaccayation, beeyotch!
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what "salubrious" is, but I'm guessing it's Canadien for "girl on girl", which sounds awesome.
ReplyDeleteEmpress: That's ok, I appreciate your gutter brain. :)
ReplyDeleteNat: Ha! Well you're the one who travels to EXOTIC places...not me.
Ed: You wish. It's actually Canadian for "delusional dude with dirty mind".
Pfffft! Like I can judge. I didn't do a blog post for 5 whole weeks and I wasn't even on vacation.
ReplyDeleteYou're pictures are lovely, missy. I'll take more if you've got more to share.
Those pics are wonderful. I just want to sit on one of those picnic benches for a week straight.
ReplyDeleteYep, I saw the B) too.
ReplyDeleteHey, this could be fun for writing inappropriate exclamations. 'Well, )umping )esus )ism.'
Cora: Be careful what you wish for, ladyfriend. :) As for blog laziness, poo! Let's be as lazy as we want.
ReplyDeleteBecks: Me too! Sadly they were right on the edge of a cliff drop into the sea which isn't apparent from that photo, so if a strong wind came along during that week straight you mentioned, well...you might not like the results! :)
TEX: I should've known you'd appear with something fruity to say! :) Well done!
ReplyDeleteThat scenery is much more attractive than the settings in the reality television series "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding." This leads me to believe that you are not, in fact, a real gypsy.
ReplyDeleteYou know, Mandy, you have me sussed. I am not AT ALL a gypsy. I just like moving around and caravans a whole lot... :) Too bad I can't live a gypsy life really.
ReplyDeleteFleas have assess? I just assumed they were little heads with legs. And maybe a horn, like a flea unicorn. A funicorn.
ReplyDeleteIf you ask me, you've given this WAY too much thought, dude... :)
ReplyDeletesalubrious - respect! i just said that so i could be all important and not a fucker like lisleman.
ReplyDeletealso, please don't back down to the hippies. they've come to expect that shit.
When were you in Australia? And why didn't you look me up?
ReplyDeletePatty: No bowing down to hippies, got it! I believe I can carry out that order! :)
ReplyDeleteTenny: Australia? Never! Or I would have! Those photos look like Australia, really? Wow.
Well wherever you are (is this a new kind of hide and seek btw???), wherever you are it definitely isn't Scotland.
ReplyDeleteI can tell because it isn't raining.....
OH Macy, Macy, Macy!!! :)
ReplyDeleteSadly, I've been sooo MIA from blogland I didn't even know you were on vacay! I'm such an asshole! In any case, looks like it was wonderful. Can't wait to get caught up!
ReplyDelete(pet, pet and here's an aspirin)
ReplyDeleteSounds like a wonderful break. I'm looking forward to reading you're latest whining as it always cheers me up.
da da da da da DAAAAA!!!!!
ReplyDelete(I figured a fanfare was in order)
You know I was sitting here thinking, "wow the world suddenly feels lighter and happier and better all round". And now I know why! You're back and you're important and you use words like 'salubrious' and give me visions of flea arses to traumatise me in my sleep.
ReplyDeleteVeg is back and all is well with the world ;) Must now celebrate with a slab of chocfudge brownie in your honour.
The photos look like somewhere along Hwy 1 on the California coast. Am I close? I wish I were close to wherever it is, because it's bee-yoo-ti-ful!
ReplyDeleteThank you for this most tranquil post.
ReplyDeleteHave a nice thingamujig, Boonie
Salti: You were too busy being in love. :) Ha!
ReplyDeleteMartin: Whine? Me? Are you sure? :) Oh alright then. Just for you. WHY DO I HAVE NO CHEESE?
Lacochran's ET: Thank you! I feel like I'm legit now, fanfare and all. Check me out all smirking and stuff.
Rusty: Well if I can make your day brighter by mentioning the anatomy of small flying beasts then my job is done. Clearly. :) Thanks ladydude!!!
Madam: Oh you are VERY close. Yes. Mmm hmmm. About 6.5 thousand miles away but still... Close! :)
Boonie: Well thank YOU, my good man. You have a nice thingamajig too.
Glad you had an awesome time.
ReplyDeleteIt really does look like Scotland...without the rain. In which case, I want to move there, like right now.
I need me some of that tranquility. Like now. I may or may not be ready to kill some colleagues and planning my escape to somewhere near those picnic tables. Yep.
ReplyDeleteYour vacation spot looks positively idyllic. Was there cake?
ReplyDeleteI also just noticed your redesign (excellent) and your other site (muy excelente). Showoff.
Roses: That might be because it IS Scotland. Minus the rain. :)
ReplyDeleteSD&BS: Coincidentally dude, it's also a good spot to dump bodies so you know...knock yourself out there!
Words: Well you take the scenic route but you get there in the end, bro. :) Oddly enough though, there was NO cake. None. Plenty good cheese though so all was not lost.
Ahh I have good view envy. You must be enjoying it immensely, yes?
ReplyDeleteBe sure and give your knee and ass lots of rest, k?
Wiggledy roads...you weren't up Ullapool way were you? I've been there. Being driven round the roads there made me turn green and regret everything I'd eaten before the trip.
ReplyDeleteI'm a fundementally mean person. I pay good money for food, I expect it to stay down. Damnit.
Meow: Yes, I had a great time, thank you and my knee didn't fall off or anything! Yikes.
ReplyDeleteRoses: I actually spent a night in Ullapool and believe me when I tell you, I DID INDEED GET NAUSEATED on those roads. Holy crap yes. I don't do windy roads well. :)
Judging by your photos, it must be one of those places where you can find something visually beautiful from every angle. With good company, it must be wonderful!
ReplyDeleteOlga: Well, it's Scotland so no. :) No, it was really pretty. When the sun was shining anyway. Scotland is awesome. That is all.
ReplyDeleteYes, fuck the hippies AND their shaleighleighs!
ReplyDeleteThere, I'm caught up, I can die fulfilled.
Sorry the fleas arse made you hurl, but I hope between the cake and the cider you are now residing in salubrious zen. (Que hippie - "ooooommmm")
I too went on vacation, but not to Scotland ... ::couBITCHgh:: No, I had to go to The Rain Forest. Because living by Seattle I apparently get far too much sun.
More pictures please!
Well Chef, Scotland and the rain forest are virtually indistinguishable apart from maybe 40 degrees or so! :) What the hell is a person doing in the rain forest? Inquiring minds want to know.
ReplyDeleteYou don't have a cape ? Huh. And here I thought you were really cool.
ReplyDeleteI got some great laughs from your post, thanks! And the pictures are beautiful, I always wanted a castle. But not a drafty one.
Ah, allergies.
ReplyDeleteNo-one wants to wander round with their face covered in a huge glob of yuck like John Hurt in the moments after THAT scene in Alien, but if you live with someone with an allergy, said glob-to-face nonsense follows every ballistic sneeze.
Powdergirl: No cape THAT YOU KNOW OF. Only my invisible, ultra cool, beyond super hero status, fancy cape. Not that I need a cape to be awesome of course. And what if my above mentioned cape IS one of a pair of curtains? It's STILL BADASS.
ReplyDeleteWhirly: No, it is true! Now I have my beloved Flonase back (the precious) I no longer am sneezy or coughy or phlegmy or anything unpleasant, in fact, I'm all, grade A, 100% awesomeness and phlegm free. SO THERE. :)
I've been told that my roots are in that area. Someday, I hope to go. What an amazing place. I really happy to hear that you can now breath through your nose without a flutter...
ReplyDeleteNeato!
ReplyDeleteOddly enough, I have "Funky Sex Farm" by Spinal Tap in my head now. Hmmm.
Your posts always make me laugh. I think it's because I'm a goody-goody whose eyes widen at the word "asshole". Ha! Glad you're back!
ReplyDeletePat: Thank you, man! I can breathe like a CHAMPION! And yes, you should absolutely visit, just do it in May or September when generally the weather's ok! :)
ReplyDeleteChris: Hey! Long time no see hippie boy! :) Hope life's treating you well???
Stephanie: Well I'll try not to corrupt your virginal little mind, so you just skip right over those filthy words, okay? Okay.
Did you go up on the ramparts of Doune Castle and yell "I wave my private parts at your aunties!! I fart in your general direction!!"
ReplyDeletein a lisping French accent? Because that would've been awesome and put you at #1 on my hero list.
Dude, yes, I TOTALLY did that. Or at least I will next time I'm anywhere near a castle. Because there's nothing so historically romantic and regal as yelling about aunties, panties and farts. Damn near perfect!
ReplyDelete