Meme Me Baby

Hola fine people of blogland. Whoa, I have been MIA this week, huh? I’ve been busy as a fucking fuck the past week with a big project that hurt my head. And it wasn't even for money! It was for kicks! Busy as a little busy bee. Busy as a wall covered in neon-coloured paisley wallpaper. And also, on top of this, I’ve been busy getting some paintings finished and ready to ship to an actual gallery to display, because I am now famous in my own HEAD. Hell, you have to start somewhere, right? I’m also thinking about being pretentious full-time. You may call me “Claude” (don’t call me Claude).

So for now, let me give you a meme. It is Friday after all. I’ve told you all – Friday is for memes. Just like Thanksgiving is for turkey and Don Imus is for punching in the balls.

I got this one from the divine S.E. Sward whose name makes her sound like some awesomely accomplished novelist who writes about pirates on the high seas and swarthy men in billowy white shirts and leggings who go around fighting other similarly clad dudes with bandanas on their heads and who say things like “AAAAAARRR. Them be thine concubines I surmise! I will now duel to the death with you for the hands of thine wenches of ill repute!”

Something like that…

So, yes. The meme. As usual, feel free to do it yourself. I ain’t taggin’!

1. Where is your phone?
Two feet from me on the desk. It doesn’t work very well but I don’t care enough to think about upgrading it in any way.

2. Your hair?
Independent. Does its own sweet thing in its own sweet time. Sort of like the rest of me.

3. Your mother?
Great as the obnoxious answer to questions you don’t want to answer. “What were you doing last night?” “Yo’ mama.”

4. Your father?
In the 1970s he looked a lot like Fat Elvis. You know, if Fat Elvis chain-smoked, liked terry cloth shirts and enjoyed drinking gin a little too much. He used to make homemade potato chips and write short stories. Not at the same time. Not usually.

5. Your favorite food?
I’m a big fan of good garlicy Italian vegetarian food. I also like good cheese. None of that processed, plastic crap. I’m not a meat eater.

6. Your dream last night?
I worked most of the night. And I painted for an hour or so. I didn’t actually sleep till 9 am this morning since I have nowhere to be today, but I dreamt that I went to San Francisco for a conference about interior design and it was hosted by that jackass Johnny Knoxville (haha!) only his name was “James”. He liked pink shirts. Then I woke up and it was noon.

7. Your favorite drink?
Diet Pepsi is my beverage of choice. I believe it is favoured by royalty and cool people everywhere. I also enjoy a nice, icy Irn Bru. When I’m in Canada Irn Bru is readily available. When I’m in the States, it isn’t. I could become a famous Irn Bru smuggler and smuggle it over the border and be like… the North Dakota Queen of Irn Bru. I'd be the northern States Irn Bru dealer. Irn Bru also makes fabulous floats of the ice cream variety.

You know, unlike those other floats.

8. Your dream/goal?
To never live in a house stuck in one place forever. Or at least not until I find that perfect place. Oh, and to find a way to eat cake every day without gaining any weight. And to live somewhere where it never gets cold. And to sleep more than four hours a night. I used to be great at sleeping. Now I have to threaten myself to withhold privileges if I don’t get some sleep.

9. What room are you in?
I’m in the home office/my paint studio. OK, that was a bit grand of me. It’s a room with the computer in it and my easel.

10. Your hobby?
I guess painting has become my number one hobby. Painting, swimming and cake. And jewelry making. And blogging. And baking. And not sleeping.

11. Your fear?
Dissipating daily. I sometimes fear that I’ll wake up one day and find that I like Lady Gaga and have to commit myself.

12. Where do you want to be in six years?
On the road. Working from home all the time and not splitting my time between North Dakota and Manitoba or waiting in lines at borders.

13. Where were you last night?
On this very seat, being busy. And nursing a headache that had been lingering for about four days on and off. I also took a couple of hours off to watch some old “Larry Sanders Show” episodes.

14. Something you aren't?
Latina. Purple. Extroverted. Miserable. A fan of winter. Right-handed.

15. Muffins?
Safeway gourmet muffins from their bakery. They have a cranberry and lemon one that is to die for, but horribly hard to find. Usually though, I prefer cupcakes or pastries to muffins. Or pizza.

16. Wish list item?
I don’t really want much. I don’t have many belongings anymore and I’ve found that I’m fine with that. I want fulfillment. I understand myself more every day. I’m a lot more open than I used to be. A lot more positive.

Ah screw it, I want an Airstream and a big lottery win. :)

17. Where did you grow up?
I grew up in Scotland. Where it’s light till 11pm in the summer and dark by 3:30 pm in the winter. Where you’re never far from the sea. Where it rains a lot but will always be home. Where I learned to tell people to fuck off in Scots Gaelic.

18. Last thing you did?
Ate some banana and pineapple bread I baked yesterday. It was supposed to be banana bread but I ran out of bananas and supplemented with pineapple. It worked. Yum.

19. What are you wearing?
Some weird jeans I bought in Fargo that fall off if I don’t wear a belt.

20. Your TV?
By the bed. I like to watch it to unwind every night before I fall asleep. You know, assuming I sleep.

21. Your friends?
My friends are like Nutella, they are completely nutty. And like Nutella, they are spread all over the place. But less sticky. Than Nutella…

22. Your life?
Complicated yet fulfilling. And tranquil so long as my Diet Pepsi supplies don’t dry up.

23. Your mood?
Generally mellow and even. I went through a phase of being more uptight and stressed but I’ve learned to appreciate things and I find I’m quite happy and competent and stronger than I used to be.

24. Missing someone?
I miss my cat.

25. Vehicle?
Temperamental yet adorable, even that time I locked the keys in the ignition and had to walk home to get the spares.

26. Something you're not wearing?
Lederhosen. Not today. Lederhosen are for Wednesdays.

27. Your favorite store?
Target and Ikea. If you don’t love Target or Ikea you’ve had a brain injury of some sort which rendered your taste, null and void.

28. Your favorite color?
I’d have to go with that colour of blue the sky is on a late afternoon in July.

29. Last time you laughed?
I noticed some guy’s name on a list I was perusing earlier and chuckled because his name was Dick Boggler. That is just awesome.

30. Last time you cried?
I actually remember this. I had PMS a few weeks ago and was feeling belligerent and there’s this door handle in my apartment I am always smashing my elbow off of, so I went to great pains to thwart that stupid door handle, and I was so busy avoiding bumping into it and being smug, that I stubbed my toe on the bottom of the door instead. And it hurt. And it bled. My toe, that is, not the door. If the door bled it would be time to move.

31. Your best friend?
Knowledgeable, caring, smart and makes mean borscht.

32. One place that you go over and over?
Home. That’s why it’s home.

33. One person who emails you regularly?
Julia. With her wicked smarts and sassiness.

34. Favorite place to eat?
If we’re talking basic chain type junk food then I’d say when I’m in the U.S. I like me the occasional white trash hoe down at Ihop because in all seriousness, Ihop make the best omelettes known to mankind. When I’m in Canada I like me some equally white trash hoe down at the Salisbury House who have the best sweet potato fries and spicy dip, ever. If we’re talking eating out in general, Mexican restaurants are hard to beat. I just love Mexican food. North Dakota is oddly rife with Mexican restaurants and tasty margaritas. It doesn’t seem right somehow… Finding one in Manitoba though is a lot harder.