Well hey! I see it's Friday and you're all looking casual-Friday-super-cool. Sort of like people who have a party on their mind. Or even just the weekend. You're all smokin'! Work it, baby!
I'm up late! There's a shock to absolutely no one. But Friday is my day of procrastinating my ass off when I should be using it to do laundry and clean toilets and cook things to freeze that I can eat for dinner next week when I know I'll be too lazy to want to cook and do Zumba, instead of what I actually do, which is sit around painting in my old, sexy, grey velour, paint-splashed sweatpants and hair that screams "I just drank a quart of Turpentine and slept in a hedge!" while sipping Coke Zero, singing along to old Queen songs and farting.
If you'd like to date me, line up here.
And yes, I said Coke Zero. Coke Zero is my new best friend. I mean you all know my alliance to Diet Pepsi, right? I'm a Pepsi girl first and foremost. But lately, I don't know. Something's been afoot and I've been hitting the Zero good and hard. It might be because it's always on sale and I'm cheap, or it could be I'm traversing a sketchy period of insomnia again and it's messing with my brain. Either way, I know it's shocking, but try to breathe. I know you must be thinking, "What's next, will she stop pining after cake and request a banana? Have we entered a parallel universe?"
Don't tell anyone ok? It'll be our secret.
Something that isn't a secret is that Jenny is having a giveaway on her blog where you can enter to win a beach bubble bag thingie (you have to click that link to her blog and go find it, suckers), however, as I appeared to be non eligible to enter as I don't do the social networking thing, I told her I was going to make a voodoo doll in her likeness and stick a pin in her head and she suddenly got all contrite and told me I could be in the competition after all because I am wonderful (or because she is wicked scared of me). But if you all would like a beach bag go and enter. Tell her I sent you and she'll be your bitch.
